Well, this is my first post to this forum. So I thought I would start with a little story I wrote. It's based off of Street Fighter (and I tried to follow the storyline pretty closely). I would like all the criticism I could get to help improve my works. I have part 1 finished and am currently working on Part 2. I will also divide it into 2 seperate posts because it's pretty long for 1 post to handle.

Beautiful Stranger

He fastened his claw to his hand, but left his mask off for a little while longer. He gazed into the mirror, at his beautiful face, unstained and untainted. His long hair trailed on the floor. A man coming in from behind interrupted him. He quickly fastened his mask to his face, so he wouldn�t disgrace his beauty before the battle. The man spoke a little reluctantly. �Se�or, la lucha esta alrededor comenza.�
The man replied quickly, �Si.� He could hear the crowd chanting in the background, but he knew she was silently waiting for him. A voice was booming on the loudspeaker. He stood up and stepped into the smoke filled room. He could hear the cage rattling from the betters, waving their tickets in their hands. He chuckled at the thought while he glanced at his opponent, already standing in the ring. The loudspeaker boomed �Y ahora, viniendo adentro, el campe�n, Juan Dela Vega.� The crowds cheered as he stepped into the caged ring. He glanced down at the snake tattoo on his chest. The white mask he wore concealed his actions, but he was smiling at the moment. He didn�t have to look for the girl. She always sat in the exact same place. She always wore the exact same clothes to the fight. He remembered how he had gotten to this moment, from the very first moment he saw her, the first moment he saw Cammy.

The message from Shadaloo

The blades slashed easily across the man�s chest. His blood dripped onto the floor from Vega�s claw. The man lay in a huddled mass on the floor. Vega stood among the cheering crowd as he took his mask off, holding it in his hand, while he licked the warm blood off of one of the blades of his claw. He turned his back and through a rose over his shoulder onto the opponent�s back. He chuckled and walked back into the locker room. The other fighters cleared a path for him. He unfastened his claw and looked at his perfect face in the mirror. He licked his upper lip and glanced at the other fighters, many of who were watching him. He slowly slipped his hand back into his claw and quickly thrust it into the air behind him. A few of the fighters jumped back, and he could not help but laugh at them. He grabbed his shirt, took his claw off, and proceeded to get dressed. He glanced down at his back and saw a piece of paper. A white letter with a skull and cross-bone seal. �Un hombre visti� en el rojo puesto eso adentro all�.� He grabbed his bag and walked out onto the busy Barcelona street. He leaned against the wall and opened the letter. He was surprised to find that it was in English (which he could also understand). He couldn�t make much sense of the letter. The word �Shadaloo� was continually repeated, and it talked about being recruited. It was signed simply with the name �Bison�. Vega chuckled and tossed the letter to the side.
�Heh, and cocky too...� Vega turned to see a man dressed completely in red. A cape trailed in the wind behind him. His feet were a few inches off the ground and a large, red hat covered his head. �One of the fastest warriors in the world, a matador and expert cage-fighter. Not to mention a taste for blood.�
�Your point?� Vega replied.
The man laughed deeply. �I�ve been watching you Vega. I can give you all the blood you desire. It�s time for the world to see a beautiful warrior.�
�We all know they won�t get that out of you.� Vega retorted. Bison just laughed at him. He enjoyed the cockiness in his soldiers, and he knew he had Vega.

The first assignment

Bison assured Vega that he could continue his normal life. Bison would contact him. Vega didn�t find another note till a month later. He laughed at the note�s instructions.
The plane trip was short from Spain and he soon arrived at the English city. He waited until night, and then he donned his mask and his claw. The end of the letter simply stated, survival of the strongest, a reality Vega knew quite well. He made sure no one was walking by the room of the hotel before he stepped out of the window. He easily scaled the first few floors down in a couple of minutes. When he was around three stories from the bottom, he turned and flipped down to the ground. Vega moved quickly through the shadows of the dark street. He rapidly navigated through the streets till he reached his target. A large apartment building loomed in front of him. He chuckled as quickly began to climb the large brick structure, making sure to navigate between the windows. He headed for the only lighted window on the building. When he arrived at the final ledge he hung on with his un-clawed hand and peered into the window. Around the world, there were hundreds of other operatives who were about to do the exact same thing he was. Vega swung into the window, shattering the glass on the floor. A man was sitting down reading the paper while the women was reading a book. The women screamed as Vega stood up in the pile of broken glass. He rolled on the ground and silenced her screams. He then turned and stabbed the man in the chest before he could do anything. The women lay in her own blood with two holes in her neck. He turned and saw a closed door at the far corner of the room. He licked the blood off the tip of one of his claws and walked toward the room. The door was locked, but Vega slashed through the wood and pushed the door open. There was a small bed with a shivering mass in it. He walked up to it and put his hand over the girl�s face. The girl was much smaller than he was, so he easily pulled her out of the bed. He hit the girl in the head to muffle her cries (as well as getting her outside without her seeing the two huddled bodies along the floor). He barely escaped the room and worked his way to the roof before he heard sirens screeching down the street. He quickly jumped the roof gap before anyone realized he was escaping. He jumped roofs back to the hotel, slowly making his way back to the hotel, holding the unconscious girl in his arms.
The girl awoke in the hotel room, with her hands bound and tied to a chair. Vega�s thin mass loomed over her. He grabbed her face and slowly began to talk to her. �Don�t worry beautiful girl, you won�t have to go through anything like that again.� Vega caressed the girl�s hair and chuckled. He held his claw to her forehead and she shook with fear. He slowly made his way down, finally deciding on her little cheek. He cut her just enough to draw blood, making sure he didn�t do any more extensive damage. �I can�t have a more beautiful fighter than I in Shadaloo.� He chuckled as he knocked the chair over, with the girl in tow, and turned out the lights. He changed in the cover of the darkness and eventually was able to lie in his bed and fall into a deep sleep.
The chest was much lighter when it didn�t have anything in it. The girl was much heavier than he thought she would be. But he gave her a heavy sedative so he wouldn�t have to deal with her moving. The street was a buzz with activity and talk of the murder. He placed the large chest in a taxi and began his way to his new home. He was dropped off about a mile away from his final destination and carefully made his way to the small airfield that would provide his escape. He met a Shadaloo soldier at the field who threw the chest into the back of the small plane. Vega jumped in the front and the pilot took off for Shadaloo.
That was the first time Vega saw Cammy.

The inner works

He was also sure that was the last time he would ever see her. As soon as they arrived, the girl was dragged off and out of Vega�s sight. The pilot also seemed to disappear from sight. Vega was about to walk into the large structure when a deep voice spoke from behind him. He turned around to see a large soldier with an eye-patch standing behind him. �So, you�re the beautiful fighter. You don�t look much, but you did your job well.� Vega chuckled and the large man let out a hearty laugh. �Sagat�s the name, Bison said you would be here. He expected no less than perfection from you. We suspect you weren�t followed.�
�Of course.� Vega replied.
�Very well then.� Sagat said. He then began to walk away; he beckoned to Vega to follow him. Vega looked to his side and saw that a small bag was placed there. In it were his claw and mask, as well as some clothes. He grabbed it and followed Sagat inside a large building.
Vega gazed into a large room. Inside the room, there were children running around in uniform. One of the smaller boys fell down. Three armed soldiers grabbed the boy and dragged him into a back room. �Only the strong survive.� Vega repeated to himself as he walked past the room. His quarters consisted mainly of a bad and a small dresser. There was a small mirror in the room barely large enough for him to see his own beautiful face. He wasn�t there for too long before another soldier escorted him to a large room. He could recognize Bison�s figure on a large platform, gazing at a gigantic screen. �You did well Vega.�
Those were the only words spoken to him at that time. He stayed in Shadaloo for about a week, so his tracks could be covered up, before he returned to Barcelona.

The matador

This day was devoted to the one activity that made Vega famous, bullfighting. He saw his first death in the ring. He got used to amateur matadors and slow horses getting gored. When he entered the ring for the first time, he was sure it would never happen to him. It was an event that he had trained for all his life. His first kill was in the bullring, when, after an hour of fighting it, he finally killed his first bull. The prize was his opponents ear, still warm from the long fight. The blood was all over the ground, and the ear itself was drenched in it. He doesn�t know why he let the warm liquid drip onto his tongue, but from then on, he had a lasting taste for blood, as long as it was still warm.
This bullfight seemed to be no different from any other. The amateurs had to have the bull worked on before they could fight it. When this method started to bore Vega, he �eliminated the middleman� so to speak, and began fighting fresh bulls, much to the crowd�s approval. Vega didn�t wear his usual purple and gold tights to the fight, and his mask lay waiting in the back. Vega�s sequined �bullfighting suit� was hot and flashy, even though bulls couldn�t see color. When the bull was released out of his pen, Vega was waiting for him. The crowd cheered as the bull rushed toward Vega. Vega jumped to the side, waving the long flag in the bull�s face to attract its attention. He did this a few more times on the lumbering beast before he decided to end the fight quickly. He took out the sword, but made a fatal error in glancing up at the stands. Floating in the back behind all the fans was a man with a long cape, clad completely in red. Vega didn�t hear the bull coming from behind him as it rammed into his back. He slid along the dirt, but quickly turned to face the annoying beast, grabbing his back in pain. The beast charged at him, but Vega would not be distracted again. He flipped up over the bull�s back. When he landed, the sword lie in the bull�s �kill spot�, and the bull on the ground, dying instantly from the wound. The crowd was frantically cheering, never expecting the famous Juan Dela Vega to actually be touched by the target, much less rammed by it. While crews were running into the ring, Vega took out a small knife and sliced the ear off the bull. He did the usual work of letting a drop of blood drip into his mouth, even though this time it was only to appease the fans, since he had a more important issue on his mind. He bowed his head and began to walk out of the ring, pushing to the ground an assistant who wanted to check his health.

The next encounter

Things continued like this for a while. Vega would lead a normal life, than Bison, or a Shadaloo soldier would show up and give Vega an assignment. This encounter would lead to the destruction of a certain American who wanted to discover Shadaloo�s exact whereabouts (for its only certainty was that is was in a hidden location). An event that would cause quite a stir and a day later a man named Charlie would vow to end Bison and Shadaloo. Afterwards, Vega dispelled the rumor that he was a declining matador by killing the next bull in under 30 seconds. Only a select few knew of Vega�s involvement in Shadaloo, and they usually did not last long. This went on for about a year before Vega received a final visit from Bison. This time, Shadaloo would be known, and feared, by the entire world.
Vega had seemed to rise in fame in the Shadaloo organization. He was one of the few soldiers who never failed a mission (those who did were never heard from again), and whenever he showed up, there was an aura of mysteriousness about him. Nearly every soldier feared Vega. Apart from Bison, only two soldiers (ugly, of course) weren�t afraid of him. One was a grunt named Balrog, who Vega dismissed as too ugly to be important. The other was Sagat, the same man who Vega had met on his first visit to Shadaloo. Among these three, there was no ranking. These were the best there was in Shadaloo; the people Bison knew would always succeed.
The next plane ride was just like any other. Vega continued to his usual quarters, where another letter, with the same skull and cross-bone seal, was waiting for him on his desk. The letter explained it all. Bison�s use of Psycho Power had slowly drained him of his health. His body was slowly losing its energy. For this, Bison sought a new body. It just so happened that Balrog was to play a murderer and Sagat had another assignment. This left Vega open to the job. The one Bison sought was a female soldier who was much more skilled than most every other soldier in Shadaloo. Her name was Cammy, whom Bison had grown close to. She was merely one of the options Bison had, but he placed her in second priority, under only a lone warrior with great power. But Bison had lost track of Cammy after she was assigned to kill a voodoo master by the name of Dhalsim. Vega would have to track her down.

here is the second half of part one.


The hunt

Vega made his first stop in the Soviet Union, a common checkpoint for Shadaloo soldiers. But Cammy was not to be found in the area. Although he was stopped by a gruff and ugly Soviet wrestler. The soldier attempted to attack Vega, who laughed as he parried the hulking man�s slow, predictable moves. The match ended quickly with Vega flipping off the wall, landing perfectly behind the man, and slamming the large man onto the cement. Vega cut the unconscious man�s arm just enough to let the blood flow. He slowly took a taste, but then quickly spat the vile substance out.
His next stop was India, where he angrily found out that the target was still alive, although he was not without battle-wounds. Vega saw the target from above with disgust. The fact that such an ugly man could survive a Shadaloo assassin was beyond him, but he had no intention of finishing the man when he had a more important assignment at hand. He decided to skip the next few checkpoints and meet her at the final checkpoint before Shadaloo.
The city was on a shore and was actually quite beautiful. The salt air filled Vega�s lungs. He did not have to wait too long for the girl to show up. He anticipated her progress quite well, for only a day after he arrived, she showed up, wearing a long red cloak. He waited for her to leave the building before making his presence known. �I assume that your Cammy?�
The girl turned mechanically toward Vega. �Analysis complete, person identified as Vega, ughh.�
The last word surprised Vega a little. She must have been programmed to be disgusted with him, or possibly just the beautiful in general. �Bison requested that I brought you to him in person. It also appears that you did not finish off your target.�
The girl replied in an equally programmed manner. �The target is of no concern, it is neu, neutralized.�
Ahh, she didn�t recite it perfectly. Could she be rebelling against her programming? Or possibly be faulty? A faulty soldier would be something to destroy, but she does appear to have strength. I can see why he would choose her for his next host. Vega thought to himself. He walked toward her and lifted his arm to her. �Here, you�re coming with me.�
�Hostility detected, entering offensive mode.�

The first fight

The girl spun and swung at Vega with her fist. She caught Vega off guard and almost succeeded in striking him. Vega swung his claw at her, but she rolled back and out of the way. She charged at him, feet first and spinning all the way to the ground. Vega flipped back, but succeeded in punching the ground right after she moved. �Cannon Strike!� the girl yelled out as she slammed her foot into Vega�s chest. Vega fell back a little, but still managed to land on his feet. He jumped onto the wall, but flung himself off just slightly over her head. He descended and flung his claw out at her. She jumped back just enough for Vega to flip onto her shoulders, then to her back. He fastened his arms around her chest and flung her over his back, slamming her neck into the ground. He pinned her to the ground and slammed his un-clawed fist into her skull. He slowly got up and stood over the unconscious women. As quickly as the fight had started, it was over.
Why would Bison want her, their are many soldiers in Shadaloo to embody? She looks to be different from all the others. I don�t know why, but something compels me to her. Vega knew he must ask Bison why he chose this girl.

The confrontation

Vega had no escort to Shadaloo this time. Fortunately, Shadaloo wasn�t too far away. He carried the girl in his arms and could not help examining her beauty. He knew from that, that she must be a great fighter. He did not have any of her blood to taste, so he slit his tongue a little and let the warm liquid run into his mouth. He shook the way a drug addict shakes when he pushes the contents of his needle into his skin. The night he arrived was in the midst of a thunderstorm. He dropped the girl on the ground and immediately, two soldier women picked her up and dragged her underground. �Well done, Vega, I knew I could count on you.�
Vega didn�t want to hear any idle talk. �Just cut to the chase, Bison. Why do you want her, their are many soldiers here?�
Bison, a bit shocked, looked at Vega furiously. �You dare question me?� he yelled out.
�Why this girl Bison? What makes her any different from these other prototypes?� Vega insisted.
Bison took a step toward Vega �I do not, I repeat, do not need to explain my actions to you and I will not tolerate this insurrection you miserable peon.�
Vega spun back, fastening his claw and donning his mask. �You challenge the strongest fighter in the world, Bison? You chose me for my abilities, for both those and by beauty far exceed what you could ever wish. There are many able bodied fighters in this world, this one girl among your ranks is not one of the strongest.�
Bison had all he would take. He lifted up his arm and a dull purple glove came over his hand. Vega stepped back a little. Having never actually seen Bison fight before put him at a disadvantage. Bison yelled and his cape flew back in the wind. The glow encompassed his cape and illuminated Bison. �You dare question my power? Who are you to question the power of a god? Do you wish to see true power, Psycho Power?� Bison�s voice seemed larger than life, encompassing Vega in a blanked of both power and fear he had never felt before. Bison glowed as he levitated far above Vega�s head. Vega took a step backwards, not expecting what he saw. Bison�s cape encompassed him and a glowing ball of energy formed in his hands. �Psycho Crusher!� he yelled out as her flew towards Vega. Vega knew he could not dodge the blow and attempted the only thing he could, blocking the attack. The blow pushed Vega back several feet and still continued the blow. The evil energy flowed through Vega�s body, making him weak. At the end, the ball of pure energies in Bison�s hand release, pushing Vega through the air. Vega�s back struck a tree behind him. He quickly felt the tree snap behind him, but soon after, all consciousness left him. Bison stood, kneeling on the ground, his energy drained. Two more soldiers (identical to the others) helped Bison to his feet. �Throw him somewhere out of the way. In the morning, execute him.�

The fall

Vega woke up pinned to the wall. His back was throbbing and he was without both his mask and his claw. The room was dim, lit only by the small window on the door. It was freezing cold in the room also. I would have expected Shadaloo to have a more formal dungeon. A freezer is hardly an ample substitute for me. Two makeshift shackles held him to the wall. His feet were almost crushed by a heavy box placed against him. He slowly wriggled his feet from behind the box, instead, placing them on top of the box. He maneuvered his hands out of the shackled and soon was able to move freely. He saw what he could outside and soon kicked the door open. The soldiers (without explicit orders), simply placed Vega�s gear in a nearby room. He soon fastened his claw, but left his mask off. He began to search for a way out. The base seemed to be devoid of any actual activity. He had to dodge a few guards, but not as many as he would have expected. He slowly made his way through the base until he reached a big room. Inside the room, there was a large machine, in which the female soldier seemed to be suspended in midair.
Meanwhile, the top floor was much more active. In front of Bison stood a women by the name of Rose. Rose was a powerful psychic and came to prevent Bison�s use of �Psycho Power�. �It ends here, Bison� she said assuredly.
Bison didn�t even take notice of the words the women spoke. �So, it was you who defeated the warrior I chose for my next host.�
She replied laughingly �Yes, he was a very strong warrior, and he has great untapped energy, but he is still just a boy. And you will not take over anyone.�
Bison laughed back at her �And I suppose you will stop me?�
She responded by launching a ball of energy at Bison. Bison jumped high over it and landed on the other side of the women. He slammed his fist into her back, which sent her flying across the ground. He responded with a quicker ball of energy. But when he jumped in the air, she met him with a fist to his chest. He fell to the ground with a thud, but quickly sprang back up. He launched his ball of energy at her, to which she responded in the exact same way. Their energies clashed and slowly began to build. Rose and Bison both fought by increasing their energies, neither one proving that they were superior. The balls of energy grew and grew until they could not be contained within the space between them. Rose yelled out and a bright light overtook them all. When it cleared, Bison lay on the floor, grabbing his heart.
Vega stared at the beautiful soldier in the machine. He tried to reach in to touch her, but his arm could not make it past the force field. He repeatedly punched it but found no result. When he fastened his claw, it too, had little impact. He kicked the machine and found the field flickered. At this, several soldiers (all of whom were female), entered the room. �Bison keeps good company.� Vega said to himself as he turned to face them. The soldiers were increasingly weak and eventually they all lay on the floor. He turned to the machine and pushed his claw into the side. Sparks flew, but the girl fell out of the force field and onto the ground.
Rose stepped over Bison. �It�s over now� She said forcefully. She began to focus all her energy around her. Bison could only watch in pain. He didn�t hear the alarm and the notice for imminent destruction. Rose yelled out and her energy overtook both of them, and hopefully would end up destroying Bison.
A military plane flew just miles from the destination. A man in an orange military vest and green pants made his way toward Shadaloo. He spoke with a female police officer on the other end, reporting in on his findings.
Vega looked around as the siren went off. He was about to run out when he remembered the girl, who was still lying on the ground. He stood over her unconscious but beautiful body. �I can not let one with so much beauty perish.� He put out his arm and grabbed the girl as if she was conscious. �Come with me, beautiful soldier.� Vega held the girl over his back and began to run to find a way out. He found an emergency exit that led to the mountains. A large metal door slammed down behind him, which activated a large elevator that rose up out of the ground. He soon found himself immersed with sunny skies, and a Shadaloo that was no-where in sight.
Somehow or another, Bison survived the assault. He slowly got up to his feet and began to laugh, much to the surprise of Rose. A dull blue flame naturally encompassed his hand as it had never done before. His eyes grew white and each step he took made the earth shake so much more. He would have killed her right there if he didn�t then hear the siren, and the countdown, which signaled Shadaloo�s destruction in the near future. The psychic took this opportunity to escape, which Bison regarded very apathetically. Soon, a large explosion ripped through the base and the ground above it. It destroyed nearly everything in it�s radius and damaged what didn�t perish.
The pilot looked down at the explosion. He was speechless at what had just happened. The radio boomed questions and he had to regain his composure before he could answer them. �Charlie, what�s going on, what was that tremor?�
The pilot replied solemnly �Our mission has ended, Chun-Li, Shadaloo has just exploded. There is wreckage everywhere. No one could have survived that.� Charlie flew the plane out of the way, not noticing what was below him.
Among the wreckage, a large red cape lay under a cement wall. But it slowly began to disappear and the wall began to rise. Bison soon stood up, no more wound than the knowledge that he must rebuilt the wreckage. Among it all, he began to laugh. The horrible sound filled the air around him. He spread out his arms and a blue energy encompassed his body. He knew he would not need a new host body.
Rose stood on a plateau, horrified at what she saw. Bison was clear within her psychic powers to see, and she shuddered at what occurred. She knew what had just happened, her attack didn�t kill him. She had given him a new found power. A power he didn�t have to channel through his cape, a power that she could not defeat. What have I unleashed upon this world? she thought to herself. She turned her back on Shadaloo, never to return to what she knew would only grow more and more evil.
Cammy did not see the explosion take place. Vega saw no more than the cloud of smoke rise into the air. He turned his head toward the girl in his arms. �It looks like only the most beautiful survived.� He rubbed her smooth face and began to walk back home, back to Spain.

_________________________________________

I would like all the advice any of you could give me.

Geez, a little long huh, there big guy.

*steals it writes a book with it makes millions*