This thread is for shriners to offer top tips on how to make insults and get away with it - that is, not get your face smashed in, or worse. Nobody fancies a hospital stay.

I'll kick-off with my top tip.

I'm from the Rodney Dangerfield school, and his 'comical ridicule' immediately (stress immediately) followed by "Hey, you're all right!" works for me. For example, "Are you as stupid as you look? ... Hey, you're all right!"

Here's an idea.

Don't insult people. :laugh:

Great idea, give the bullies more ammo to attack with. Great stuff, bravo.

SPOILER.... This isn't a serious thread.

lol

SPOILER.... This isn't a serious thread.

Yes, i know. Sorry my friend, you and i have good laughs together so let me think kn this one... i will leave ya with this in the meantime.

You can say this to insult aswell.

http://data.whicdn.com/images/63672548/large.gif

---------- Post added at 11:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:03 PM ----------

http://38.media.tumblr.com/a2fb35acd14a89c44ce720b0219d403e/tumblr_inline_mtqb2bO80F1s5da06.gif

This thread is for shriners to offer top tips on how to make insults and get away with it - that is, not get your face smashed in, or worse. Nobody fancies a hospital stay.

Check my post history, there are some great examples!

---------- Post added at 08:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:08 PM ----------


Here's an idea.

Don't insult people. :laugh:

That's a terrible idea. Sometimes people are total boobs, annoying fuddy duddies or just downright assholes. Failing to insult them is virtually condoning their behavior.

"Oh, it looks good on you though" Case Study.









Transcript from "Caddyshack" the movie starring amongst others, Rodney Dangerfield as Al Czervik.

Here we see Al Czervick embarrassing Judge Smails as he maligns a hat in the golf store.


Al Czervik: Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?

[looks at Judge Smails, who's wearing the same hat]

Al Czervik: Oh, it looks good on you though.

SPOILER.... This isn't a serious thread.

It's not?!!

It's not?!!

Hehe, I should've titled this thread something like "The Rodney Dangerfield School of Etiquette and Protocol", and avoided the flak. This learning curve is a steep one.

You can always get it renamed.

I'll leave it for now. However, I've got an idea for a new thread - "The Sir Les Patterson School of Etiquette and Protocol".

If you don't know who Sir Les Patterson is, he's the bloke who got dressed in the 70's and can mostly be seen holding a pint of beer.

I remember Les Patterson, wasn't there a movie some years ago called Les Patterson saves the world lol

I remember Les Patterson, wasn't there a movie some years ago called Les Patterson saves the world lol

Proudly Australian, as is that other Aussie icon Barry McKenzie (if we're talking politically incorrect 70's icons here). Great stuff.

*interesting note - I received a phone call from Barry Crocker in 2002, inviting me to his one man show. Needless to say I took the offer. You don't refuse Barry McKenzie himself!

I have to admit I've never heard of Barry Crocker. Barry Humphries, yes, btw Barry seems to be a popular name Down-Under, but we never got any Barry Crocker in old Blighty.

Alf garnet now there's a totally non p c name from the 70s

Walking on egg shells is now the way the world works thanks to...

Political correctness
Knee jerk reactions to anything negative

This is the internet people, learn to swim without cramping.

Walking on egg shells is now the way the world works thanks to...

Political correctness
Knee jerk reactions to anything negative

Not in Donald Trump's world lol

Ah, monsieur! The Insulting Frenchmen were fantastique!

That's my cue to cut & paste some script from the "Bloody Peasant" scene:


Arthur: "Old woman!"

Dennis: "Man."

A: "Sorry. Old man! Whose castle is that?"

D: "I'm 37!"

A: "What?"

D: "I'm 37, I'm not old!"

A: "Well, I can't just call you 'man'."

D: "Well, you could say 'Dennis'."

A: "I didn't know you were called Dennis."

D: "You never bothered to find out, did you?"

A: "I did say sorry about the old woman, but from behind you looked--"

D: "Well, I object. You're automatically treatin' me like an inferior!"

A: "Well, I _am_ King."

D: "Oh, King, eh, very nice. And how'd you get that, then? By exploitin' the workers, by hangin' on to our dated imperialist domga, which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's going to be any progress--"

Wife: "Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here-- Oh, how'd you do."

A: "Hello, good woman. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?"

W: "King of the who?"

A: "The Britons."

W: "Who are the Britons?"

A: "We are, we all are, and I am your King."

W: "I didn't know we had a King. I thought we were an autonomous collective."

D: "You're fooling yourself. We're livin' in a dictatorship, a self-perpetuating autocracy, in which the working class--"

W: "Oh, there you go, bringing class into it again--"

D: "But that's what it's all about! If only people would listen--"

A: "Please, please, good people! I am in haste. Whose castle is that?"

W: "No one lives there."

A: "Then who is your lord?"

W: "We don't have a lord."

A: "What?"

D: "I told you. We're an narco-syndicous commune. We take it in turn, to act as sort of an officer for the week--"

A: Yes I see."

D: "--but all the decisions of that officer hae to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting--"

A: "Yes, I see."

D: "--by a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs--"

A: "Be quiet."

D: "--or by a two-thirds majority, in the case of--"

A: "Be quiet, I order you, be quiet!"

W: "Order, eh? Who's he think he is?"

A: "Why, I am your King!"

W: "I didn't vote for you."

A: "You don't vote for Kings."

W: "Well, how'd you become King, then?"

A: "The Lady of the Lake,... [angels sing] ...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] THAT is why I'm your king!"

D: "Listen, strange women, lyin' in ponds, distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. SUPREME executive power derives from a mandate of the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."

A: "Shut up!"

D: "You can't expect to weild supreme executive power, just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!"

A: "Shut up!"

D: "Why, if I went around, sayin' I was an emperor, just 'cause some moistened dink had lubbed a symitar at me, they'd put me away!"

A: "Shut up! Will you shut up!" (punch)

D: "Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system!"

A: "Shut up!" (punch)

D: "Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm bein' repressed!"

A: "Bloody peasant!"

D: "Oh, what a giveaway! Did you see that? Did you see him repressin' me? You saw it, didn't you?..."

Your father smelled of elderberry.

"You dirt-eating piece of slime! You scum-sucking pig! You son of a motherless goat!" - Lucky Day