I like it Deus...

I can relate...

damn... that's a deep poem...

what inspired you? (If I may inquire....)

Nice Deus. Hehe me and you are almost the same when it comes to love. ^^

Originally posted by Deus Immortale
The stars in the sky
Shine like your eyes
And tears me a part inside


That is a very powerful stanza. I think you should try to write more like this one or try to not make one like this in a poem that you aren't really using rhymes with. It stands out too much and takes away from the rest of the poem if you do. Otherwise it was a very good poem, keep it up!

It is better to be remembered for eternity for a single stanza then to be given a lifetime for a mediocre poem.

I prefer to have stanzas stand out, aside from that, I just happened to write that not long before it was posted, so time to re-work it had not been achieved.

and tif, my inspiration. . .. lol, being loveless I guess

Loveless huh Deus?


What female wouldn't swoon @ having someone write such a beautiful poem about them?

(I know I would....)

What could make you care for me
I'm not even sure
You will the way I do

All I know is
You make it alright
And I want nothing more

Then to be
In your arms
Tonight



... I love those stanzas... *sniffle* so damn prettie deus..... :)

i take it you havn't seen my pic in the album?

What album? Huh? No... I don't think so..

*is confuddled*

That's a pretty poem. There are a few grammatical errors at the beginning, but they aren't bad enough to ruin the poem. Most of the poems dealing with love are cliche, but this one is definitely not. It's rather different from all the poems I've ever read.

I like how the the poem starts.

A great poem deus. Well done and quite interesting. Keep em commin.:)