Fear is like the desert sands
That keeps me from my dreams,
Oceans of freedom
Dried up in blazing screams.

But even when I'm tired
And I feel like dropping to my knees,
You�ve held me
When my bones are frail...
And I'm crushed from the inside out.

Falling, tumbling down a hillside
Of sharpened razorblades,
I keep falling through the worst.

Keep holding onto my hand
When everything is ripped away,
But I can't dream of what to say-

I can't dream to know the way.

Then the sky shuts off its light,
And the demons of the night
Play their little puzzle game with me.

Help me out of this crater,
Into the heavens, beyond my own remains
Because I�m slowly loosing pressure
And the blood soaking through my veins
Is starting to slow down.

Fear is like the desert sands
That drags me down;
Grab onto my hand
Before I get pulled under-

Or I'll never come up again;
When I swim with all my strength,

I can only hope to sink...
But I can't close my eyes,
This is life and it�s all I've got now.

that's deep really nice so is that how you feel...?

yes at times...

man that's deep... it's a really good poem too man but... man can't get over how deep it is...

Well at first i was starting to dislike it but at the very end the last words were really good, you really know how to end a poem, wich is one o the biggest problems i had like a year ago. I think taht your main problem is that you try to decorate a lot your poem with a lot of strange words, but sometimes using a lot of words makes you look like if you were trying to get attention with it, and that is not the obective. sorry if i said something stupid.

He won't see anything you said about his work because he only posted 4 times and hasn't been to the site since November. It was nice of you to post about it though. We don't have enough critics around here. Most people just give knee-jerk positive responses.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, considering the outlet here. :D

Nice, dude.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, considering the outlet here. :D
And the quality. We need more Odin critique in this forum.

I only read this forum for the scathing critques anyway.

I only read this forum for the scathing critques anyway.
same

well that and to rp with my character HE IS AT LVL 99 WITH MAX ATTACK AND HP AND NO1 CAN BEAT HIM