For example

Cid: "I stopped smoking recently, for my health."

or

Aeris: " #*%@ !!!"

You know, stuff like that.
Whoever makes me laugh most gets a special prize.

Cloud: "Ooooh! a cute widle kitty!" Picks up cat and squeezes it.

To Red XIII or Cait Sith??? HAHAHAHA!

I don't know probably red

Barret:" OMG look at this cute little pink dress i found at the wall market for only 20 gil!!!"

This is so much fun :)

Tifa:" Are you sure you want another one ... I mean you already had 3 beers"
Aeris:" Shut the fuck up and give me another one DAMNIT!" (grabs beer and chugs it)




Vincent:" Dear diary.... today Cloud looked at me at lunch like he is so dreamy... and I just love Barrets new dress I'm like SO jealous!"

Hmm...I think Cloud would say:

Cloud: "Still have the blue dress. Oh, silky and shimmering.(Puts dress on) Does this makes my butt look big?"

(I can't imagine him saying that but I think Aeris would be laughing so hard if he had say that when he was dressing up. :laugh: )

Red XII is now hideing in the choboco stall of the highwind under some hay. After several hours of searching Cloud goes to the choboco stables with a bag.
Cloud:" Hey choboco stable guy have you seen RedXII?"
Choboco Stable Guy: " Yhea he's over there."
Red silently curses to himself and sighs.
Cloud:"Kitty! Look what I got you!" Pulls out a pink bonnet from his bag and puts it on a extremely annoyed Red. "You look so cute!"

You all are making Cloud look real fruity! Hahahaha----do Cid.

Ill try... Let see

The group goes on a shopping trip to the wall market(Barret gets the dress, Cloud gets the bonnet).
Vincent:"Cid what did you get?"
Cid:"I got a pack of cigarettes, some mags, and...the Barbie as swan lake happy mystical castle!!!Yey!!!I can't wait to play with it!"

Hmm...Cid...that's a tough one...well, here I go...

Nanaki: "Looks like he's going to do it. Always yelling and yapping away. I feel sorry for Shera. "

Cid walking to Shera. "Shera, will you...marry me?" (Big smile on his face...still smoking his cigarette..)

Shera: "........."

Yuffie:"Whaat the @$#! ! Is this some kind of joke?"

AaAAAHAHAHAHAHAHaaaaaa--- (falls out of chair, hits desk)...owie.

Shera: Oh Cid!....No.

Cloud: Does the castle come with pretty pink ponies?! (Johnny's suggestion)

Aeris: *grumbles* damn tifa, stealing my man...&^%$#$/& *takes a swig at her beer*

Tifa: *watches as seph kills aeris* wow... nice calves!
Red XIII: WAAA my tail's on fire!!!

Cid: "awww! im sorry for everything ive done to you, sheira! youre a real sweetie pie!"

Cait sith: "Im honest!"

Barret: "Cloud... I don't know how to say this... but... I think I'm attracted to you..."

Cloud: oh, barret! I'm so happy!! *kisses barret*

Vincent: "psst, hey cloud... will you ask yuffie out for me?"

Yuffie: "Tifa, I just love your hair! How do you make it so shiney and silky??"

Cloud and the team stop at a park for the day.Tifa is setting up a picnic, Cloud is hugging and petting a depressed RedXIII, Yuffie is running around the highwind barging into everyones rooms and stealing their materia, Aeris is still out cold from drinking to much beer,Vincent is sitting under a nearby tree writing in his diary, Cait Sith is missing but no one really cares, and Cid and Barret are happily playing with Cid's Barbie as swan lake happy mystic castle playset.

I will finish this later I G2G right now

Sephiroth:" I want Hojo to give me a Mako bath." or "Hey I want to play with Barbies too!"


Yuffie: "I hate materia its so *@#$ing usless!"

Cloud:"I could have sworn that I brought my secnted candles with me."

Cloud: "Barret is just so damn cuddly."

Aerith: "Now, I command you in the name of lucifer to spread the blood of the innocent! *plays clay pidegeons with poodles*"

Barret: "That Rufus... MMMMMMM-MMMM!!!! Damn he's fine."

Tifa: "I'm going to get breast implants. I'm pretty sure my back can take it."

Cid: "I'm afraid of flying! I'll go Amtrak!"

Vincent: "It's time for a wardrobe change..."

Cait Sith: "I'm happy to announce I have the largest fan base out of all of us!"

Yuffie: "I just wanted to be your friend! *cries*"

Sephiroth: "Love and peace! Love and peace!"

yuffie finds a wallet on the floor...

Yuffie: "Oh, I better hand this into the local police station. Someone must be looking for this..."

By the way guys, the special prize is a free trip to Don Corneo's mansion.

JUST KIDDING!

Keep posting people! This is great.

LOLOLOLOLOL this thread rocks!i will edit my post once i think of something...

Corneo: "Playboy magazines are trash. They should be burned."

Vincent: (fixing his hair, singing) I feel pretty, oh so pretty, oh so pretty and witty and----"
Cloud, Tifa, Cid: (yell) "GAY!"

OMG this is hilarious.

I'm rather proud of it myself. Got anything yet?

hmmmmmmmmm.......nope.sry gotta go but I WILL think of something and try to post soon!goodbye hilarious shriners!

Seph" Hey Aeris, do you need any help planting flowers?"

Aeris:" Get the $%#! away from me before I kill you!"

another scene
Cloud:" Hey Vincent an you give me a back rub?

Vincent:" Sure why not!"*runs over excitedly*

Cloud and Cid are at an AA meeting

Cid: (stands) "My name is Cid Highwind. And I am an alcoholic."
Sephiroth clones in black capes: "Hellooo.....C-Cid..."
Cloud: (stands) "My name is Cloud Strife. And I am a Homosexual."
Cid: "Wrong building, Cloud."

Aeris: "Damn weeds!! Always ruining my flowers! OWwwww! !@#$!@"
Cloud: "Don't want to step over her bad side."

Reno:" I'm tired of getting wasted!"
Rude:" I'm with you man"
Elena:" Reno take me."
Tseng:" Are you drunk?"
Elena:" No."
Reno:" In that case, NO!"

Yuffie:" I want to join SOLDIER!"
Cloud:" You can register over here."

Aeris:" I want to rule the world as the only Ancient."
Seph:" I must stop you!"
Cloud:" Now what do I do? Hey look its a flower."

HAHAHAHAHAAA!

Really there are some very good one. And good idea for a thread.
Sorry but I don't have one.

I know, real funny. I'm not too good at it either. But hey, enjoy!

Sephiroth: ( tells Cloud to close the vaulve)
Cloud: Getting bossed around by a transexual wasn't in the job description.

......ok, not funny. help me out here people.

Hmm....

Sephiroth: "Oh, my long and beautiful hair. So shiny and glossy. (smirks) Better than Tifa's."
Tifa: (crys)" That is so wrong. Cloud...Aeris...do something."
Cloud: ".........But it is shiny."
Aeris: ".........It is really like he says. Can I be your buddy, Sephi?"
Cloud: " What! No way. He was my bud first!"

I'm sorry but I forgot the rest of my story but i'll make something up to finish it soon.

Barret:"I'm changing my name to Ashley!"(continues playing barbies with Cid and Cloud.)

lol this is so funny! I don't have one, but this is great ^^ good idea for a topic, eh?

Tifa:"Forget about Cloud i'm going after Cait Sith he is such a sexy beast!"
Aeris:"Yhea, me too!"

Barret:" Forget about helping to save the world i'm going to start stamp collecting instead!"

Cid:"My barbie collection is almost complete I still need cereal killer barbie... and Rugby barbie... and obese barbie!

Things an ff7 character would never say....?

Vincent: I have a vagina
Yuffie:...yeah me too (come on...we all know that she's always been...a little didfferent from Aeris and Tifa)

LOL! Nice thread! I have some crappy ones..

Sephiroth: "Man, Mom, has anyone ever told you you look like a bloody freak?"

Sephiroth:"AHHHH!!!SOMEBODY!!!SMASH THAT BUG!!!"

Cloud: I am about to become one with the Planet.

Sephiroth: Was I adopted?

Hojo: Am I insane?

Palmer: Do I look fat?

Zack: You have motion sickness? I DON'T CARE!

Sephiroth: Zack, you're more mature then I am.

Lucrecia: Sephiroth is an idiot!

President Shinra: No! Stop! You're hurting the Planet!

Cloud:"Aeris? Will you open this new ketchup bottle? It's too hard to get open..."

Aeris:" I hate my hair so much! i'm going to cut it and get a mohawk!"

Christmas Time

Cloud: "oh, Sephiroth, what is it?"
Seph: "open it!"
Cloud: "Oh its the Black materia, its what i always wanted!"

Vincent:"I just love polka music sooo much!"

Bugenhagen: "Nanaki seems much better behaved now than when he left. What happened to cause such a change in him?"

Cloud: "We sent him to obedience school."

Cloud: Oh god, I have such a big sword..:polishes and admires it:: Hey Tifa, wanna see? ::giggles::

Tifa: I have big breasts..Why didn't I notice that before?

Nanaki: ::looking at his cubs:: Hmm..Who did I knock up? It will forever be a mystery..

Yuffie: I really am a kleptomaniac!

Cid: I should really quit smoking..@#$! I'll get lung cancer!

Cloud: (something)

Aerith: Cloud? you know the real reason why I like you? BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE ZACK! THAT'S IT, I DON'T CARE ABOUT CLOUD, I CARE ABOUT ZACK!

Tifa: Yes! Cloud's finally mine!

Red XIII: Oh boy, we're gonna go on an adventure!

Cait Sith: Guys, I'm real sorry for taking the keystone... I should've known better...

Barret: Ya know? I'm thinking about switching to healing as my main goal. Lets make the world a better plave and live happily... we need to know the meaning of life.

Yuffie: DAMMIT, my boomerang broke!

Cid: ah, smoking's for losers!

Sephiroth: (after killing aeris) OH, GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE? IM A MURDERER, A MURDERER!!!!!!

Vincent: "Time for the ol' bikini wax."

Cloud: "I can't lift my sword! It won't get up! I can't get it up! Ahhhhh!!!!" *everyone stares*

Tifa: "Where's my jumbo boob pump?!" *many, many more stares*

Barret: "I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!!!"

Sephiroth: "I've found my true passion..."
Random Homeless Person: " Well? What is it?"
Sephiroth: "Bringing massacre to random homeless people."
Random Homeless Person: " ...uhhh..please don't kill me?"
Sephiroth: "Oh, but I already have!" *Homeless person slides apart like sliced sausage* "Heh heh.. Tom and Jerry, here I come..."

Aerith: "Cloud? I used your razor to shave my legs! Hope you don't mind!"
Cloud: *shivers* "Hmmm...wait...nah."

Cid: "Hey everybody, look! Loverboy's playing tonight!!!"

Yuffie: "Stealing just isn't any fun anymore, I think the true challenge in life is to go down the straight and narrow."

Red XIII: "Mmmm... that's right ladies.. lick each others wounds-OH MY GOD IT'S ON FIRE!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!"

Cloud: *Sniff* Can you smell those merrygolds? Ooh that aroma is just intoxicating!

Cid: My, Shera, what a stunning blouse! I don't suppose I could interest you in two tickets to the ballet?

Red XIII: I think its about time I was neutered.

Yuffie: Gosh, Clouds Mastered Ultima, Full Cure and Comet materias just left unattended. I'd better go and give them him back.

Barret: Any got a Mach 3? I feel its about time I gave my legs a good waxing.

Aeris: Much love for that Sephiroth. What a stand up, decent fella.

Palmer: No custard slice for me. I'm on a diet.

Sephiroth, walking through the flames in Nibelheim:

"Owww! Oh, shit, owww! That hurts! Crap!"

Cloud's final battle with Sephiroth...

Cloud: Get ready to die!! I'll killed you for taking Aeris away from me!!

Sephiroth: What! I thought we were buddies. I would do no such things!! Can't we just talk it over?

Cloud: You wishhhhhhhh!! Arghh! Take this.....(doing Ominislash)

Sephiroth: Cheater!! I wasn't ready. How come you get to do your limit break!! I'll get you for this!!

Cloud: Man! I look cool with a big sword..but its killing my back! Arrrghhh! I hate dragging this piece of junk.

Aeris: Ha ha. At least my is lighter.

Cait Sith: What are you two blabbing about? I only have a microphone to shout at enemies.

Cloud: (holding a dead Aeris) I hate you! I hate you Sephiroth, you and your computer-brain freak mother!

Sephiroth: Very original Cloud, very original, why don't you say it to her face?

Reno and Rude: (at the bar, drinking alot)
Rude: (belches very loud in Elena's face.)
Elena: (gaaaaasssp!!) (gags)
Reno: God, stop being so RUDE!

Hey wait! I thought that they were supposed to be things that they normally wouldn't say ST.

I'm too bored so I can't come up with some good ones so here's this cheap one:

Seph:" Will anyone cry at my funeral?"
Aeris:" Does it look like I care what you have to say you stupid son of a @#$%&!"

Seph:*on one knee*" Cloud, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"
Cloud:" Oh, yes...Hey wait did you say wife?!"
Seph:" Yes I did.
Could:" Oh I thought you said something else."
Aeris:" Hey! Clooud is my girl!"
Cloud:" Aeris, you know I never liked you in that sense."
Aeris:" Oh, Sorry I thought that you really did like me that way."
Seph & Cloud:" Sorry. Now Get the @#$% OUT!"

Aeris-"Im so FUCKING HORNEY!"
Cid-"Please dont swear honeybunny."
Aeris-"Fuck this, Tifa, get the cucumber and meet me in the bathroom in 5 minutes!"
Tifa-"My boobs are so small"-sobs-
Vincent-"HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY!!!!!!"
Barret-"Its jus' cos' im black isnt it?!"

....Lapis, please, not so graphic. That's a little sick.

Cid:"Totally tubeular!"

Cloud strife:Why dont we just give up on this shrina sephiroth thing and its nearly tea time and its my faveriote.

Tiffa:i agree who cares if this planet dies its not as importent as having Tea come on.

President Shinra: "The children, the children, won't someone pleeeease think of the children!"

Sephiroth: "Thanks, I'd love a non-fattening, low-cal, diet soda right about now."

Shinra Soldier: D'oh!

Reno: That's all, folks!

Wait, what they WOULDN'T SAY?

---

President Shinra - Who needs money when we have the planet to think of? Turks! Shut down the reactors.

---

Aries - I'm not dead!

(Before we have another Revive Aries thread, please note that the above quote is on the NEVER WILL HAPPEN list.)

---

Cait Sith - Wait here everyone, the real me is comming to help!


---

Cloud - Tifa, I don't think we should go out anymore.

Tifa - Why not?

Cloud - For your own protection. Jessie, Aries... Do you see the conection?

(Meanwhile, Sephiroth wields his blade up above.)

---

Beginners hall guy - You explainations were so complicated, I couldn't return to the planet. Tell me about limit breaks.

Cloud - I don't know, I just don't know. (Runs out crying.)

---

Red XIII - I've never noticed, but Grandpa really looks like one of those clowns that never fall over.

(Pushes his grounded grandfather over, and watches him spring back upright.)

Burgersomething - Stop that.

---

More later, maybe.

Sephiroth:Ahhhhh mommy cloud and his gang are scaring me
Sephiroth mom:You should know better i have a right to tell your mommys.
Cloud:Wahhhhh
Tifa:thats the last time we play ball with him

HAHAHAHAHAAA!

Cloud: (in Cartman voice) BEEEEEFCAAAAKE.

Cloud:Lets destroy the planet!

Sephiroth: everybody LOVE and PEACE

Seph:" Hey Zack lets go get some chicks."
Zack:" Not now. I'm not in the mood."

Reno:" Hey Rude."
Rude:"..."
Reno:" Hey man I'm talking to you!"
Rude:"..."
Reno:" Well whatever. I just wanted to say that, well, I love you man."
Rude:*weakly*" Hold me."

I know they suck. I just can't get my imagination started lately

hmmm things they wouldn't say.....

while chocobo dances, cloud jumps in with a tootoo and preforms swanlake.

moogle: ku--ah who cares.....

vincent: now remeber childeren, don't play with guns.

sephiroth walking out of the flames: TA DAAAAAA!!!!

cid: welcome and thankyou for riding the highwind, the exits are in the back and the sides. if you need any assitance please press the red button above you.

cloud: oh i think i'm gonna hurl...
chocobo: THEN WHY ARE YOU RIDING ON ME?!!!

if you guys liked one of these , please tell me which one you liked.

seph and vinnie: *singing* comeon world theres a song that we're singing, come on get happy!

elena: i love your hair tseng!
tseng : i know.
elena accidently pulls off the wig : O MY GOSH! 0_o

Cid: "That's it, I'm giving up smoking. And did I mention that I dearly love you, Shera?"
Shera: "Piss off, you twat!"

Tifa: Cloud, you're such a brat! The least you could say is SOMETHING! were on a DATE!

Yuffie: I...I... I don't know what to say...I guess I'll say. Cloud, I love you.

Aerith: Come on, hurry up! Lets go find some materia! Look, HOBOS! lets go rob'em!!

Originally posted by animation_girl2000
while chocobo dances, cloud jumps in with a tootoo and preforms swanlake.

elena: i love your hair tseng!
tseng : i know.
elena accidently pulls off the wig : O MY GOSH! 0_o

hehe iliked these two..k mine suck but ill try...

Barret: (on a commercial) I pity the fool who dont buy my new line of Gatling guns!

ok yes that sucked.

I liked yours, heaven's cloud! Im not too good at this either.

Aeris: "GIVE IT UP! There's NO way were ever gonna be able to save the planet!"

Cloud: "Come on! Get you're spririts up! We can do anything we set our minds to!"

Barret: *sobbing* That's so beautiful!

*yuffie and tifa strat talkin when cloud show up and gets on one knee* cloud says "will you Marry Me-" tifa says "OH CLOUD YES I WILL" cloud says "Not You....yuffie"

Hey, awsome sigbar

thanx


Ok here ill try somemore

Cloud:(drunk)"Zack your really pr..pretty *hiccup* you know that right!!"
Zack"Ohhhh cloud im flattered"
Cloud"good now get me *hiccup* another beer *BRRRUUUUP*

Cloud tifa and aeris are having a tea party
cloud"sephy come plz tea party with us!"
seph(under his breath)"fag"

yeah uhhhhhh tell me if you liked one

Sephiroth: *while burning some random town* "Burn, baby, burn!!!! *pauses, breaks into 'Disco Inferno', burning villagers group up behind him and start dancing* Burrn, baby, burn!"
(My mind is getting out of Halo-mode, so bear with me while I'm getting back into sync)

Vincent: "One day I looked into the mirror and found that I was suffering from male pattern baldness. I didn't know what to do. My girl left me, my boss fired me, and I had to live under a bridge with bats and gremlins. I didn't know what to do, that's when one of the bats reccomended Dr. Krevolikan to me. What a life-saver. Thanks to him, I regained a full head of hair, and can now roam the planet, slaying monsters and vanquishing enemies without humiliation. Thank you, Dr. Krevolikan."

Aerith: *getting back from Spring Break with Tifa, more than slightly drunk* "H-hey, everyone! *hic* Guess how many boobs I saw thiss week? Two! *looks at Tifa lecherously, then passes out* Hee hee hee...
Tifa: *eyes shifting* Uhhhhh....well, that would explain why she's wearing my shirt. *is met with many stares*

Cloud & Cid: WONDER TWIN POWERS, ACTIVATE!

Barret: All right, who wants to play a game of Dungeons and Dragons? Star Trek Trivia? Anyone?
(Heh heh heh... dub me a geek and a nerd, I'm guilty of both)

Cloud: "It's time to shave my nipples again."

Tifa: Hey Cloud do you have hair gel that I can borrow?
Cloud: No....**you are hearing some sort of liquid that drops in the toilet for a very long time, then Cloud get out and drop five empty bottle in the garbage** I all used it...

Okay I know it sucks...here another one...

Barret: Yuffie...I love you..you are absolutely not a brat and you are beautiful...
Yuffie: Oh...Barret....**in a charming voice**

Okay I shut up.

Aerith: "Cloud, that's....quite an instrument you've got there."
Cloud: "You.... wanna touch it? Fine, but... you have to let me touch yours."
Aerith: "Well, I don't know...I don't think I'm ready..."
Cloud: "Don't worry. We can do it slowly."
Barret: "FO' GOD'S SAKE! JUST TRADE THE &^%$IN' POKEMON CARDS ALREADY!"

Felt like typing that.

*cid stands at the edge of the highwind and the titantic theme starts to play*
cid"im so pretty!"

vincent"Tifa i got an idea take some of my clothes and put them on and go kiss cloud!"
tifa"ok *giggles*"
*tifa gets on vincents clothes and kisses cloud*
cloud"VINCENT...i thought you'd never do that *grins evily*"

Cloud/Any FF7 character: "My fans are so intelligent, it makes me proud."

Any FF7 character: Seriously, we actually deserve the fandom we get.

Final Fantasy VII Characters:

"Things they'd NEVER say"

Cloud: "Tifa, I have a confession... I think your boobs are TOO big."

Barret: "Here's your pay Cloud; 15 bazillion gil."

Tifa: "Cloud, I think you should end up with Aeris. She's definetly the right girl for you.*voice starts to accelerate and volume increases* Even if she is a stupid bitch who doesn't where the hell to put her innocent little-- *calms down, realizing her carrying on* Oh, what does it matter. You think my boobs are too big anyway!"

Aeris: "Oh! Sir! Won't you please buy a flower? It's for a good cause: I'm donating it to my boob job fund.

Red XIII: "CATNIP!!!"

Cait Sith: *nothing at all, he won't shut up!*

Cid: "Swearing is bad."

Vincent: "Oh, shit! I'm late for my manicure!

Yuffie: "Everybody, the error of my ways has made me confess. I hate materia! Take it, take it all!"

yeah, I know they're stupid, but it's the best you're gettin outta me, I don't have much imagination (but if you liked one, tell me which!)

Originally posted by eikofan69
Vincent: "Oh, shit! I'm late for my manicure!

yeah, or:

Barret: "Oh, crap, I broke a nail!"

Thanks again Seph's Bro. Is that your favorite one (late for manicure)?

Sephiroth (After skewering Aeris): "Kabobs anyone?"

you probably have, but I thought I'd ask, PRAK: did you see my "they'd never say" post? and if you did, which one was funniest??

nice one Prak lol :D

*sigh*

You really care what other people think too much, you know...

But I'll humor you. Frankly, most everything's been done by this point, so I've seen most of them elsewhere on the thread. The only one I even took notice of was the Barrett line.

:-D Sorry again. I just like to hear ppyl's opinions. Cuz, I only ask my friends and so of course, their gonna say "Oh it's great". But if I ask ppyl who've never heard of me, I can get a real judgement.

Aeris: "kill me sephi. you know i have a death wish so cut me with that thing. come on!"

Sephiroth: "no, i'm a good boy and my mommy wouldn't like it if i went around killing people. besides this sword is made out of rubber. how else would i be able to wield it?"

Cloud: Aha! I shall defeat you, Sephiroth, with my Buster Swor.... *pull stick from back pocket*
Sephiroth: Pffff! HAHAHAHA! A stick!? I'm going to waste you with my super-duper-insanely long Masamu.... *pulls out toothpick*
*Cloud gets devilish grin on his face*

yeah it's dumb, but this is me we're talking about so....

Sephiroth: "My balls itch! MY BAAAALLS ITCH!!!!"

Cloud: "Pull my finger!" (that one wasn't already used, was it?)

Aerith: "Oh, spank me more!"
Tifa: " You spank me first!"
Sorry, I'm not sure where that came from.

Cid: " Come on down, you're the next contestant on the price is right!"

Bugenhagen: " One tequila, two tequeila, three tequeila, four! F_ck the planet's final fate and start a nuclear war! HEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEE!!! *presses THE BUTTON*"

Vincent: "Oh, I can't wait for the next "Ai Yori Aoshi" volume to come out! *rolls back on bed and kicks feet in the air* He he he!"
Note: There's nothing wrong with "Ai Yori Aoshi". It is a sappy love story though, so...yeah.

lol that was good! ok i got one... bear with me....
(during the highwind night scene)
Cid: oh barret arent the stars just so gorgeous?i wish this moment woul dlast forever...me with you..
Baret: oh cid, hold me!
cid & barret: i love you!

ok i dont have a very good imagination..

Pres. Shinra-"Um yes secretery would you please bring me those charts on the mako absorbtion."
Secretery-"Yes Sir, Right away sir."
Pres. Shinra-"Wait this doesn't sound like my secretery. Are you new?"
Secretery-"Yes Sir, and I want to help so I raised Reactor funtion by 26%."
Pres. Shinra-"Excellent what is your name?"
Secretery-"Barret Wallace"

Sry for the spelling errors. Spelling is my worst subject, I'm horrible at it! lol

Cloud: Sephiroth lets get married

Sephiroth: Cloud I'm sorry but i love Aireth so much that i killed her

Arieth: I'm a goody goody two shoes

Yuffie: it slices it dices

Originally posted by Nanaki_Wolf
Cid:"Totally tubeular!"

I didn't notice this at first, but, I nearly wet myself from laughing.

Reno: (in Before Crisis) Rude, would I look good if I grew a rattail?
Rude: Um....I dunno....I don't think so. Don't do it.
Elena: Whatever! He'd be a babe!
Reno: Thanks Elena, I think I'll try that!

Thank god for Elena.

Bugenhagen: TIFA, BEER ME!

ok i thought of an orginal...tell me if it make you laugh.


aeris: wait...i'm getting a message....what i don't understand...

cetra language at use: LOL! OMG! meh can'tz believe she do that now, WTF we friggin told her not to come to DA temple!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Cloud:"I Feel So Pretty Oh So Pretty"
Sephiroth:"YARRRRRR DIE CLOUD! *sticks his sword in cloud* HA!"
Cloud:"Im Still Pretty"
Sephiroth:"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!*falls to his knees*NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Cloud:"To Bad *girly laugh* Hehehehehh-*dies*

Aeris speaking to Yuffie: Oh my god yuffie look at her(Tifa) butt it is so big she looks like one of the rap guys girlfriends, who understands thos rap guys anyways. They just hang with her cause she looks like a total prostitute. I mean her butt its just so big, I cant belive its just so round, its just so out there I mean its gross. :-P

Barret: i like big butts and cannot lie, u other brothers cant deny when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in ur face u get sprung; Wanna pull up tough cause u noticed that butt was stuffed; Deep in the jeans shes wearing im hooked and i cant stop staring; oh baby i wanna get with ya and take ur picture my homeboys try to warn me but the butt u got m-m-make me so horny; Oh rump of smooth skin, u say u wanna get in my benz, well use me use me cause u aint got an average groupie...


For those of u who dont notice the famous lyrics it is the talking part at the beginning and part of the 1st verse in "Baby Got Back" by Sir-Mix-A-Lot

cloud: (looking at barret) aah look at him guys, he's growing up show fast.....first he'll be blowing up everything he sees, next he'll be doing 1800 collect commercails....

everyone nodds*

Cloud: "Oh, damn I love it when Tifa knees me in the kidneys in the middle of the night!"

Aeris: "Time for a new lifestlye.. goth looks good."

Tifa: "Astro-boy! Thank god! What has happened to the world when wee lads can no longer freely fly about in their underwear!?"

Barret: " Well, I'm famous, I'm successful, I'm loved.. I can do anything I want! I think I'll raise an army of zombies in an inconspicuous place called.. Neverland Ranch!"

Barret: " Well, I'm famous, I'm successful, I'm loved.. I can do anything I want! I think I'll raise an army of zombies in an inconspicuous place called.. Neverland Ranch!"




DUDE, THAT WAS WRONG BUT FUNNY

Originally posted by animation_girl2000
DUDE, THAT WAS WRONG BUT FUNNY

At your service.

Cloud wathcing Tifa undress

Cloud: Oh so thats where all the tissues and toilet paper went.

"EikoFan69
Cloud: Aha! I shall defeat you, Sephiroth, with my Buster Swor.... *pull stick from back pocket*
Sephiroth: Pffff! HAHAHAHA! A stick!? I'm going to waste you with my super-duper-insanely long Masamu.... *pulls out toothpick* *Cloud gets devilish grin on his face*"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! that is so far, by far the best one i missed the first time i glanced at this board

Red XIII : I be over there doing my hobby, sniffing my buttcrack
Cloud: Oooooooohhhhh. Let me help.
Vincent: Me too
Red XIII : Now sniff, SNIFF!!!
Cloud and Vincent: Ewwwwww!!! Smelly
Red XIII : I know, isn't it great
Cloud and Vincent: Pull out barfbags*blehhh*

Barret/Cid: Oh Fiddlesticks!

Vincent (to Tifa): Will you plait my hair after this is done? Ive been growing it.

Cloud: Where the hell does my sword go when I put it behind my back?

Barrett: I luv' the violin, bin a lil habbit of mine since I was jes' a kid

Heidegger: Mr. President, we should hold a baby-kissing show to boost your public support Gya ha ha
Rufus: Good idea, I love children, and did I ever tell you how much I love your laugh?

Red XIII: How the hell are you my Grandad Grandpa?
Bugenhagen: ...Another thing your father never wanted you to know...

Sephiroth: Cloud, after this is done wanna go for a coffee?

Palmer: This is a very serious matter everyone, am I fat?

Scarlet: This skirt is too high for my tastes, and is all this make up necessary?

This is fun :laugh:

Originally posted by The_Fake_
Cloud:"I Feel So Pretty Oh So Pretty"
Sephiroth:"YARRRRRR DIE CLOUD! *sticks his sword in cloud* HA!"
Cloud:"Im Still Pretty"
Sephiroth:"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!*falls to his knees*NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Cloud:"To Bad *girly laugh* Hehehehehh-*dies*

Funniest one ever! Nice job!

Originally posted by AdamJC

Cloud: Where the hell does my sword go when I put it behind my back?

Red XIII: How the hell are you my Grandad Grandpa?
Bugenhagen: ...Another thing your father never wanted you to know...

[/B]

LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLL!!!!!!!!
I'm seriously, LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, those are so funny, and so true!!!

Originally posted by NinjaYuffie
Pres. Shinra-"Um yes secretery would you please bring me those charts on the mako absorbtion."
Secretery-"Yes Sir, Right away sir."
Pres. Shinra-"Wait this doesn't sound like my secretery. Are you new?"
Secretery-"Yes Sir, and I want to help so I raised Reactor funtion by 26%."
Pres. Shinra-"Excellent what is your name?"
Secretery-"Barret Wallace"


hehehe Im lovin some of these

*Cloud: "I can't lift my sword! It won't get up! I can't get it up! Ahhhhh!!!!" *everyone stares* *

i like this one.


oh wait i got one.

(everyone remebers this scene)
cloud stand in the chocobo racing dock talking to mrs. clown face. he just finished the race and his cell phone start playing the chicken dance.

cloud: " thats not my phone" *shifty eyes* he see everyone stare. " i sware it's not me!"

barret voicemail : CLOUD PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!!!

Originally posted by The_Fake_
Cloud:"I Feel So Pretty Oh So Pretty"
Sephiroth:"YARRRRRR DIE CLOUD! *sticks his sword in cloud* HA!"
Cloud:"Im Still Pretty"
Sephiroth:"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!*falls to his knees*NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Cloud:"To Bad *girly laugh* Hehehehehh-*dies*

HAHAHAHAHA! Just like CLoud, ya know?


Originally posted by BrixtonBlack
Cloud wathcing Tifa undress

Cloud: Oh so thats where all the tissues and toilet paper went.

HAHAHAHAHA!

[QUOTE][i]
(everyone remebers this scene)
cloud stand in the chocobo racing dock talking to mrs. clown face. he just finished the race and his cell phone start playing the chicken dance.

cloud: " thats not my phone" *shifty eyes* he see everyone stare. " i sware it's not me!"

barret voicemail : CLOUD PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA!
(librarian) Shutup Squeaky!
...sorrry.
.....AhAAAAAaAaAA!!!!!

Thought of a new one:

Barrett: Do yeh mind lookin' after Marlene for a bit?
Elmyra (Aeris' Mum): Do I look like a $%&%'in babysitter?! look after your own damn kid!

- Adam

Cloud: Whos this Sephiroth character Ive been hearing so much about?

uh i hope i dont offen anyone but


sephiroth: you may think i'm me...i but i'm really not...

cloud: then who are you?

sephiroth: i'm really....*he grabs his chin and takes off the mask*

cloud: OH NO! THIS CAN'T BE! AHH ITS TOO HORRIBLE !

seph : " yes it is i! gorge bush!!" *wiggles ears*

or

when aeris and cloud corners cait saith in the gold saucer.

cait: even if you kill me, its usless, i'm just a stuf toy

aeris: then whos controlling you?!

cloud finds a curtain and a rope and pulls on it.

osama bin laden: uh...pay no attention to the stinky man behind the curtain. he is just a customer. leave him alone and go away please!

cloud raises his sword.

Osama Bin who? Oh yeah, wasn't he some skinny smelly guy that George Bush was playing hide-and-go-seek with or something? Honestly, I haven't heard ANYTHING about Osama for months. It's all been "soldiers kill, then die, blah blah blah". Damned media.

Cloud: "What do you mean I shouldn't keep my sword in my pants?"

In the library...
Tifa: " Let's see... 'Boob Joke Comebacks 101'. Finally! Salvation!"
Aeris: "*across the room* Ohhh... 'Comebacks to Boob Joke Comebacks 101'! I won't loose Cloud to that whore Tifa!"
Cloud: "Hmm...oooo! 'How to Spark Lasting Man-Love'!"

Bugenhagen: "*After 17 Sake bottles* Ohhhh! THREE Tifas.. hee hee... TRIPLE MINT GUM!!! YIPEE! Oh! Three Tifas also equals three fists! I see!"

Cid: "Men can be beautiful, too!"

Sephiroth: " *SQUEAL*!"

Cid : Thank You Very Much!

I made a few of them.



Cloud: (Drunk) Oh my gawd Red XIII you're soooooo hot.
Red XIII: (Drunk too) you too Cloudy-Woudy wanna make out?
Cloud: ok I always wanted a mutant baby.

Ok not very good how bout this

Aeris: Cloud you are so %$^#%$ horrible letting Sephy kill me your a %$^$% Bastard.
Cloud: (Crys uncontrollably)
Vincent: No one talks about my man like that! *Shoots Aeris*
Cloud: Oh Vincent I love you! *kisses Vincent*


So what do ya think? lol :D

Hahahahaaaaaaa!

Wow my jokes were good? Here's another. lol


Everyone had a slumber party but someone, a traitor, glued them all together

Aeris: Damn it who's clutching my boob?!

Cid: Uh I would let go but my hand's glued on. Sorry.

Aeris: $%#^ you Cid

Tifa: Oh Cloud I always dreamed we would be together....

Cloud: Uh I never wanted to be THIS close.

Yuffie: Ewwwwwww

Red XIII: Oh Yuffie don't hold back I don't bite, much. Meoooow.

(Yuffie's hand is glued to Red XIII's buttcrack)

Vincent: mmm.....Barret.. *Kisses Barret*

Barret: oh yea.....cmon Vincent give me all you got. *Kisses Vincent*

Cait Sith: BWA HA HA HA!!!!

Everyone(Except Vincent and Barret) : YOU SHALL DIE CAIT SITH, OWW.....AFTER WE GET OFF OF EACH OTHER!

Cait Sith: Fat Chance, that's super glue BWA HA HA!!!

ROFLMAO

Now that was just disturbing. Funny? Yes. Very. Disturbing? Extremely.

Ew. (funny,but eww.)

Cloud: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Barret: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Aeris: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Tifa: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Red XIII: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Cid: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Vincent: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Originally posted by Smokey
Cloud: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Barret: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Aeris: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Tifa: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Red XIII: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Cid: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Vincent: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it's not even that good at all.

Please please please please leave your I hate/dislike FF7 comments in your "Why FF7 isn't a good game thread" please? I'm trying not to make someone over offended and start some pointless fight.

I haven't done one in a while so i'll try one:

Cloud: Old Mcdonald had a farm
Cloud&Tifa: E-I-E-I-O
C: and on his farm he had a pig
C&T: E-I-E-I-O
C: with an
T: oink oink here
C:and an
T: Oink Oink there
C:Here an
T: oink
C:there an
T: oink
C:Everywhere an
T: oink oink
C&T: Old Mcdonald had
Barret: SHUT THE @#%$ UP!
Red 13: Yhea, act your own age me and Barret are trying to watch Barney

Yep it sucked but I mainly posted it because I had old Mcdonald stuck in my head all day.

Originally posted by Nanaki_Wolf
<B>Please please please please leave your I hate/dislike FF7 comments in your "Why FF7 isn't a good game thread" please? I'm trying not to make someone over offended and start some pointless fight.</B>
Uh, those are statements FFVII characters would never say. That <I>is</I> the point of this thread.

These cool characters would never say:

Cloud: Barret, could we have a gay marriage

Tifa: Is my hair too long? Should I get it cut short?

Aerith: Flowers are too sissy!

Barret: I LOVE Shinra! I wanna be President someday!

Yuffie: I quit stealing materia because stealings a sin!

Vincent: Cid, can we go to the bed?

Sephiroth: I don't want the planet to die! Life's too good!

Cid: Smokings BAD!

Cait Sith: Fortune tellers are rubbish!

Elena: Reno, I love you now, not Tseng!

Reno: I'll accept whatever comes.

Rude: I don't wanna girlfriend.

Rufus: I won't hurt the planet anymore!

President Shinra(the fat one): money isn't everything!

Nanaki Wolf, yours is hillarious! ROFLMAO!!

aeris: My pretty flowers. Why don't you help me with the weeds? (mumbles) Weed pulling is not fun.

Cloud:I can help you......(scratches head and thinks to himself) But wouldn't that make Tifa jealous? Oh well. (shrugs and helps aeris with weeds.)

Tifa: (barging in) Just use your damn big sword to cut the weeds and help me at the bar. Arghhhh....I can't stand it.(stamping her feet in rage)

Yuffie and Nanaki: (together in unison) And that's what they called solving a relationship. Jeez. Just live 500 miles apart from each other!!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Nanaki_Wolf
[B]

Please please please please leave your I hate/dislike FF7 comments in your "Why FF7 isn't a good game thread" please? I'm trying not to make someone over offended and start some pointless fight.

I haven't done one in a while so i'll try one:

Cloud: Old Mcdonald had a farm
Cloud&Tifa: E-I-E-I-O
C: and on his farm he had a pig
C&T: E-I-E-I-O
C: with an
T: oink oink here
C:and an
T: Oink Oink there
C:Here an
T: oink
C:there an
T: oink
C:Everywhere an
T: oink oink
C&T: Old Mcdonald had
Barret: SHUT THE @#%$ UP!
Red 13: Yhea, act your own age me and Barret are trying to watch Barney

That wasn't so bad! LOL

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Nanaki_Wolf
[B]

I haven't done one in a while so i'll try one:

Cloud: Old Mcdonald had a farm
Cloud&Tifa: E-I-E-I-O
C: and on his farm he had a pig
C&T: E-I-E-I-O
C: with an
T: oink oink here
C:and an
T: Oink Oink there
C:Here an
T: oink
C:there an
T: oink
C:Everywhere an
T: oink oink
C&T: Old Mcdonald had
Barret: SHUT THE @#%$ UP!
Red 13: Yhea, act your own age me and Barret are trying to watch Barney

That wasn't so bad! LOL

Originally posted by Nanaki_Wolf


I haven't done one in a while so i'll try one:

Cloud: Old Mcdonald had a farm
Cloud&Tifa: E-I-E-I-O
C: and on his farm he had a pig
C&T: E-I-E-I-O
C: with an
T: oink oink here
C:and an
T: Oink Oink there
C:Here an
T: oink
C:there an
T: oink
C:Everywhere an
T: oink oink
C&T: Old Mcdonald had
Barret: SHUT THE @#%$ UP!
Red 13: Yhea, act your own age me and Barret are trying to watch Barney

That wasn't so bad! LOL


LOL LOL dang it man you made me wet my pants ROFLMAO

Hojo: "Hu-hah! My new robot gaurds of doom are here! Rise, my servants, and conquer!"
Robot: " Yes master-....warning! This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down now! Have a nice day.....What do you wish of me, master?"
Hojo: "Dammit, get Bill Gates in here!"
Bill Gates: "Yes? No, wait! AIIEEEE!!!*dies*"

I hate Microsoft.

Cloud: "Hey, look. I can't really lift this this thing so...do you think you could just die?"

Aerith: "Old men with lots of money and no morals are so sexy!"

Tifa: "*laying down* Hey, Barret? Could you roll me on my side? My boobs are crushing my lungs."

Cid: "I AMMMM...EL NINO!!! FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT HABLA ESPANOL, EL NINO IS SPANISH FOR........uhhh.. THE NINO!!!"

The gang luaghing behind Cid and Cloud's back.

Barret: ok ok, you have to tell me that one again tifa! HAHAHAHA

Aeris: who knew making fun of blodes would be so...fun!

tifa: ok ok here it goes...
cloud and cid walk into a bar....ouch!

the gang rofl

gang: HAHAHAHAAHAH!

Barret: wiat wait i got one!
one time Cid was going to take flying lessons, so he went to the airport to rent a plane. The manager told him there were no planes left so he would have to use a helicopter. So Cid got in the helicopter and took off. Every 10 miles he checked in with the manager; after the first 10 miles, he said it was a blast. When he reached 20 he told him that he had never seen so many buttons. But when he reached 30 miles she didn't check in so the manager went to rescue him. When he found him he asked him how he crashed. Cid said, "It was getting cold so I turned off the big fan."

Gang: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

VINCENT: Let me try!
After entering Gold saucer, Cloud went up to a soda machine. Cloud put in 50 cents and out popped a coke. He searched his wallet for more money. he found some and kept feeding the machine money. Cokes and Sprite and Mountain Dew bottles began rolling down the street.
A young woman walked up behind him and watched this for a few minutes. Then she asked, "Can I get one now?"
Cloud whizzed around and yelled, "No way, can't you see I'm winning?"

Cloud: Old Mcdonald had a farm
Cloud&Tifa: E-I-E-I-O
C: and on his farm he had a pig
C&T: E-I-E-I-O
C: with an
T: oink oink here
C:and an
T: Oink Oink there
C:Here an
T: oink
C:there an
T: oink
C:Everywhere an
T: oink oink
C&T: Old Mcdonald had
Barret: SHUT THE @#%$ UP!
Red 13: Yhea, act your own age me and Barret are trying to watch Barney

ROFLMAO ROFLMAO ROFLMAO ROFLMAO ROFLMAO HAHAHA!

OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY!

One I always wanted to say:

Tifa: Aerith, I love you! Do you wanna be lesbians? I still love guys too!

Aerith: Really Tifa you'd do that for me? Yeah baby your my whore tonight!

Cloud: Hey lovley ladies, I don't wanna miss out on all the fun! Let's have a threesome! *Cloud thinking*I love this the two women I love most actually wanna kiss! *Cloud thinking*

Tifa: I love you Aerith and Cloud!

Aerith: I love you too Tifa and Cloud!

Cloud: I love you Tifa and Aerith! You're my lovely ladies!

Barret and Red XIII: Have fun you three!

Sephiroth missed stabbing Aeris when she was at the alter.


Cloud: Dam Sephiroth you're a bad stabber. Here let me give you some pointers.

Cloud stabs Aeris and she dies

Cloud: See?

Sephiroth:......

Sephiroth stabs Cloud and he dies

Sephiroth: Uh oh now I have no one worth killing left.

Sephiroth stabs himself and dies.


I know it's crappy.....here's another


Cloud: Ouchie.....

Cloud scraped his knee.

Aeris: Oh my baby. Here i'll make you feel better *kisses Cloud*

Cloud:waaaaaah!

Tifa: Aeris sucks at kissing here. *Tifa kisses Cloud really hard*

Cloud:waaaaaaaaaaaah!

Aeris: Haha!

Tifa: My kiss didn't work? WAAAAAAAAAH!!

Barret: *kisses Cloud*

Cloud:I feel all warm and cuddly inside. Oh Barret your the one! *Dips Barret down and kisses Barret*

Ok I rest my case until later......Ifeel ashamed

Originally posted by Cloudmeister
Sephiroth missed stabbing Aeris when she was at the alter.


Cloud: Dam Sephiroth you're a bad stabber. Here let me give you some pointers.

Cloud stabs Aeris and she dies

Cloud: See?

Sephiroth:......

Sephiroth stabs Cloud and he dies

Sephiroth: Uh oh now I have no one worth killing left.

Sephiroth stabs himself and dies.


I know it's crappy.....here's another


Cloud: Ouchie.....

Cloud scraped his knee.

Aeris: Oh my baby. Here i'll make you feel better *kisses Cloud*

Cloud:waaaaaah!

Tifa: Aeris sucks at kissing here. *Tifa kisses Cloud really hard*

Cloud:waaaaaaaaaaaah!

Aeris: Haha!

Tifa: My kiss didn't work? WAAAAAAAAAH!!

Barret: *kisses Cloud*

Cloud:I feel all warm and cuddly inside. Oh Barret your the one! *Dips Barret down and kisses Barret*

Ok I rest my case until later......Ifeel ashamed

I admit your first one was kinda mean. I do love your second one though, I'll give you that! It was funny. LMAO!

Wow thanks!

Originally posted by animation_girl2000
The gang luaghing behind Cid and Cloud's back.

Barret: ok ok, you have to tell me that one again tifa! HAHAHAHA

Aeris: who knew making fun of blodes would be so...fun!

tifa: ok ok here it goes...
cloud and cid walk into a bar....ouch!

the gang rofl

gang: HAHAHAHAAHAH!

Barret: wiat wait i got one!
one time Cid was going to take flying lessons, so he went to the airport to rent a plane. The manager told him there were no planes left so he would have to use a helicopter. So Cid got in the helicopter and took off. Every 10 miles he checked in with the manager; after the first 10 miles, he said it was a blast. When he reached 20 he told him that he had never seen so many buttons. But when he reached 30 miles she didn't check in so the manager went to rescue him. When he found him he asked him how he crashed. Cid said, "It was getting cold so I turned off the big fan."

Gang: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

VINCENT: Let me try!
After entering Gold saucer, Cloud went up to a soda machine. Cloud put in 50 cents and out popped a coke. He searched his wallet for more money. he found some and kept feeding the machine money. Cokes and Sprite and Mountain Dew bottles began rolling down the street.
A young woman walked up behind him and watched this for a few minutes. Then she asked, "Can I get one now?"
Cloud whizzed around and yelled, "No way, can't you see I'm winning?"

Hah hah hah. I like that one. Now all you need is Cloud and Cid's revenge. like using Photoshop to fabricate images of everyone having sex with animals, or something like that.

Vincent: I love you guys

ok this one stupid........

Tifa:it's not in all the way
Cloud:what do you mean look its in all the way!
Tifa:no its not push this time
cloud:there are you happy is it in!
tifa:NO!
Cloud:forget it!
*cloud walks away and the nail falls out of the tree house*

Tifa:*waking up in the morning* yawn! Do I have to run my bar again? I don't wanna, cause I'm too lazy. yawn! I'll just go back to sleep Cloud.

Cloud: *waking up in the morning* Yawn! Do I have to do patrol duty again? I don't wanna, cause I'm too lazy. Yawn! I'll just go back to sleep Tifa. Then whenever I feel like waking up, I'll watch Saturday morning cartoons!

Aerith: *waking up in the morning at her house in sector five* Yawn! Do I have to get up and sell flowers again? I don't wanna cause I hate flowers now! I'll go back to sleep and see if I can be a fighter like Cloud and Tifa!

Barrett: Man these Saturday morning cartoons are funny! HA HA! HA HA! Man I'm getting a kick out of this!

Marlene: Daddy, shouldn't you be getting ready for patrol duty with Cloud instead of wasting your time watching kiddie cartoons?

Barrett: Quiet Marlene! I don't wanna miss any of my cartoons!

Cloud: *get's up* What!? C'mon Barrett, you're letting me miss out on all the fun in my cartoons! Gimmie that remote control!

Barrett: NO MINE!

Cloud: NO MINE!

Tifa: Barrett, Cloud honey, could you keep it down!? I'm trying to get my beauty sleep!

I know those might be alittle too silly.

Originally posted by The_Fake_
ok this one stupid........

Tifa:it's not in all the way
Cloud:what do you mean look its in all the way!
Tifa:no its not push this time
cloud:there are you happy is it in!
tifa:NO!
Cloud:forget it!
*cloud walks away and the nail falls out of the tree house*

I don't know why, but I found that rather funny.

Sephiroth, Cloud, Cid, Vincent, and Barret: We're knights of the round table! We dance whene'er we're able! We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impaccable! We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and spam a lot!
We're knights of the round table! our shows are formidable! But many times we're given rhymes that are quite unsingable! We're opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot!
In war we're tough and able, quite indefatigable! Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Mark Gable! It's a busy life in Camelot!

Sephiroth: I have to push the pram a lot!

Tifa: Wow, that was weird.
Aerith: Yeah. Wanna make out?
Tifa: Okay.

Originally posted by The_Fake_
ok this one stupid........

Tifa:it's not in all the way
Cloud:what do you mean look its in all the way!
Tifa:no its not push this time
cloud:there are you happy is it in!
tifa:NO!
Cloud:forget it!
*cloud walks away and the nail falls out of the tree house*
ROFLMAO!! That was hilarious.

Oh. I got one:
Cloud:Old MacBarret sitting on a bench, banging his hand with a monkeywrench.Missed his hand,hit his balls,they went over his overalls.He went to the doctor and the doctor said:Oh my god your balls are red!When I die, bury me, stick my balls in a cherry tree. When they're ripe, take a bite. Hope you don't, puke all night!!!!
Barret: Shut the @$#^ up Cloud*fires gun rapidly all over the place*
Cloud:Old McBarret...
Barret: Shut up, @$$!
Cloud:Hee Hee Hee

Originally posted by BizarroSephiroth

ROFLMAO!! That was hilarious.

Oh. I got one:
Cloud:Old MacBarret sitting on a bench, banging his hand with a monkeywrench.Missed his hand,hit his balls,they went over his overalls.He went to the doctor and the doctor said:Oh my god your balls are red!When I die, bury me, stick my balls in a cherry tree. When they're ripe, take a bite. Hope you don't, puke all night!!!!
Barret: Shut the @$#^ up Cloud*fires gun rapidly all over the place*
Cloud:Old McBarret...
Barret: Shut up, @$$!
Cloud:Hee Hee Hee

Hah hah hah. That was moderatley disturbing, but very funny.

Originally posted by BizarroSephiroth

ROFLMAO!! That was hilarious.

Oh. I got one:
Cloud:Old MacBarret sitting on a bench, banging his hand with a monkeywrench.Missed his hand,hit his balls,they went over his overalls.He went to the doctor and the doctor said:Oh my god your balls are red!When I die, bury me, stick my balls in a cherry tree. When they're ripe, take a bite. Hope you don't, puke all night!!!!
Barret: Shut the @$#^ up Cloud*fires gun rapidly all over the place*
Cloud:Old McBarret...
Barret: Shut up, @$$!
Cloud:Hee Hee Hee


man that was great!!
:D :D :D :D

Originally posted by animation_girl2000


Barret: wiat wait i got one!
one time Cid was going to take flying lessons, so he went to the airport to rent a plane. The manager told him there were no planes left so he would have to use a helicopter. So Cid got in the helicopter and took off. Every 10 miles he checked in with the manager; after the first 10 miles, he said it was a blast. When he reached 20 he told him that he had never seen so many buttons. But when he reached 30 miles she didn't check in so the manager went to rescue him. When he found him he asked him how he crashed. Cid said, "It was getting cold so I turned off the big fan."

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!




Originally posted by god is dead



man that was great!!
:D :D :D :D
Thanx!!!

Vincent: I lost my heart in San Francisco....

Barret: *sitting in a Gondola with Cloud and Tifa* I...I want to make love to you...
Cloud:...uh....me? Or her?
Barret:..yes.
Tifa: I...uh... can't have sex without my..uhh.. boob braces. Yeah. Boob braces. I left them in Midgar, oopsie.
Cloud: *blushing* Well, I'd hoped never to have to tell anyone this, but.. the sword is major compensation...
Barret: Well, you could be the wife-
Cloud: And I have a rash. A horrifying rash. I once killed a man with it. I have to burn every toilet I use.
Tifa: Yes, I have one as well. Cloud gave it to me.
Barret: But..when did this..happen? How?
Tifa: Well, I snuck into Cloud's room one night and-
Cloud: Hey, you promised to keep that night a secret!
Tifa: But so much happened that night! Such experimentation! I can't hold it in any longer!
Barret: Noooo!!!! *jumps out of Gondola to his death*
Cloud and Tifa:...huh.
Tifa: So, do you really have a rash? *getting rather close to Cloud*
Cloud: Actually, I don't really know. I could by tomorrow morning, though...* the gondola finishes it's track. Aerith is waiting, glaring at Cloud and Tifa*
Tifa: Uh.. honey! I can explain, it was just-!
Aerith: Oh, no more excuses, Tifa! It's time I taught you a new lesson!
Tifa: NO! Not again! Not the rack!
Aerith: Oh, yes. The rack. *drags Tifa off*
Cloud: *looks at Master Nabeshin* You have too much free fuckin' time.
Master Nabeshin: Heh heh heh...

Originally posted by Master Nabeshin
Vincent: I lost my heart in San Francisco....

Barret: *sitting in a Gondola with Cloud and Tifa* I...I want to make love to you...
Cloud:...uh....me? Or her?
Barret:..yes.
Tifa: I...uh... can't have sex without my..uhh.. boob braces. Yeah. Boob braces. I left them in Midgar, oopsie.
Cloud: *blushing* Well, I'd hoped never to have to tell anyone this, but.. the sword is major compensation...
Barret: Well, you could be the wife-
Cloud: And I have a rash. A horrifying rash. I once killed a man with it. I have to burn every toilet I use.
Tifa: Yes, I have one as well. Cloud gave it to me.
Barret: But..when did this..happen? How?
Tifa: Well, I snuck into Cloud's room one night and-
Cloud: Hey, you promised to keep that night a secret!
Tifa: But so much happened that night! Such experimentation! I can't hold it in any longer!
Barret: Noooo!!!! *jumps out of Gondola to his death*
Cloud and Tifa:...huh.
Tifa: So, do you really have a rash? *getting rather close to Cloud*
Cloud: Actually, I don't really know. I could by tomorrow morning, though...* the gondola finishes it's track. Aerith is waiting, glaring at Cloud and Tifa*
Tifa: Uh.. honey! I can explain, it was just-!
Aerith: Oh, no more excuses, Tifa! It's time I taught you a new lesson!
Tifa: NO! Not again! Not the rack!
Aerith: Oh, yes. The rack. *drags Tifa off*
Cloud: *looks at Master Nabeshin* You have too much free fuckin' time.
Master Nabeshin: Heh heh heh...

Some how that was very very funny!


Ok i making this on as i go.............. so go along with me!

*cloud walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Cloud: BARRET WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT GHOST
*cloud begins to puke*
*tifa walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Tifa: BARRET WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT GHOST!
*tifa begins to puke* *cait sith walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Cait Sith: The ghost eat you apple again barret?
*barret jumps out of the ghosts mouth and it disappers*
Barret:NO THIS TIME THAT DAMN THING ATE MY %&#$%# KIT KAT BAR!

i know................stupid

Ok here's one but it might be boring


Tifa: *getting close to Cloud* Cloud who are you in love with?

Cloud: Not with you that's for sure HA Ha!

Tifa: *slaps Cloud* Who are you in love with damn it?!

Cloud: Red XIII

Tifa: *Slaps herself* shouldn't have asked.

Cloud: Heh Heh....


How bout this?


Yuffie: I love Cloud!

Aeris: No I love Cloud!!

Tifa: No I LOVE CLOUD!!!

Barret: No I love Cloud and that's final!

Aeris&Tifa&Yuffie: *shrugs* ok.



Cloudmeister:Or this.....

Tifa: Damn it Cloudmeister you're going to die for making my life miserable in these jokes!!! *aims punch at me*

Cloudmeister: *stabs Tifa* heh heh BWA HA HA!!!

Originally posted by Cloudmeister
Ok here's one but it might be boring
Tifa: *getting close to Cloud* Cloud who are you in love with?

Cloud: Not with you that's for sure HA Ha!

Tifa: *slaps Cloud* Who are you in love with damn it?!

Cloud: Red XIII

Tifa: *Slaps herself* shouldn't have asked.

Cloud: Heh Heh....


Actually, I rather like that one.

Originally posted by The_Fake_


Some how that was very very funny!


Ok i making this on as i go.............. so go along with me!

*cloud walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Cloud: BARRET WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT GHOST
*cloud begins to puke*
*tifa walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Tifa: BARRET WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT GHOST!
*tifa begins to puke* *cait sith walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Cait Sith: The ghost eat you apple again barret?
*barret jumps out of the ghosts mouth and it disappers*
Barret:NO THIS TIME THAT DAMN THING ATE MY %&#$%# KIT KAT BAR!

i know................stupid


lololol that was pretty funny i think :D

Hey didn't anyone think my last one was funny?

I did. Cloud and Barret watching Saturday morning cartoons... I can picture them doing that, though...

Barret: Hey, Aerith, what's this button on your staff? *presses button, the staff vibrates* Uh....
Aerith: Hey, this isn't my staff! *everybody stares* It's not!

cloud: so far it's me, vincent and sephiroth thats winning...*click*
barret: hey could what about me?
cloud: sorry besides cait sith, your losing *click click*
barret: WHAT THE **** even the kitty is beating me?!
red xII: i'm not a kitty!

aeris and tifa walks in.

tifa: hey guys whatcha....*stare* up too...
aeris: HAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T BELIVE YOUR DOING THAT!

the guys : HEY I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME ON THE POLLS!

that girls : ya cuz we didn't put our names in who's the hottest video game character! that site is for nerds!

the guys are silent.


--; well i tryed.

Originally posted by animation_girl2000
cloud: so far it's me, vincent and sephiroth thats winning...*click*
barret: hey could what about me?
cloud: sorry besides cait sith, your losing *click click*
barret: WHAT THE **** even the kitty is beating me?!
red xII: i'm not a kitty!

aeris and tifa walks in.

tifa: hey guys whatcha....*stare* up too...
aeris: HAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T BELIVE YOUR DOING THAT!

the guys : HEY I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME ON THE POLLS!

that girls : ya cuz we didn't put our names in who's the hottest video game character! that site is for nerds!

the guys are silent.


--; well i tryed.


LMAO! hahahahahaha *drops on floor* that is funny!

Originally posted by animation_girl2000
cloud: so far it's me, vincent and sephiroth thats winning...*click*
barret: hey could what about me?
cloud: sorry besides cait sith, your losing *click click*
barret: WHAT THE **** even the kitty is beating me?!
red xII: i'm not a kitty!

aeris and tifa walks in.

tifa: hey guys whatcha....*stare* up too...
aeris: HAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T BELIVE YOUR DOING THAT!

the guys : HEY I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME ON THE POLLS!

that girls : ya cuz we didn't put our names in who's the hottest video game character! that site is for nerds!

the guys are silent.


--; well i tryed.

Gotta admit its funny. Also I liked the one about the Saturday morning cartoons. Sorry but I still haven't thought of any good ones.

If this one sucks don't blame me I too am making it up as I go.

Seph:* at North Crater*" Mother, when do I get a break to go to the restroom? I've had to go since Midgar."
Jenova:* in the bathroom*" Just five more minutes."

that sucked. how 'bout

Cloud:" Tifa can you gimme a hand here?"
Tifa:" Sure. What do you need help with?"
Cloud:" This."
Tifa:" Wha... Cloud what do you think you're doing?! You're doing all wrong."
Cloud:" Then how do I do it?"
Tifa:" I really don't know. Well I'm gone."
*Cloud was trying to embrioder a heart on a pillow*

Now that blowed. Sorry I can't think of anything funny.

Originally posted by animation_girl2000
cloud: so far it's me, vincent and sephiroth thats winning...*click*
barret: hey could what about me?
cloud: sorry besides cait sith, your losing *click click*
barret: WHAT THE **** even the kitty is beating me?!
red xII: i'm not a kitty!

aeris and tifa walks in.

tifa: hey guys whatcha....*stare* up too...
aeris: HAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T BELIVE YOUR DOING THAT!

the guys : HEY I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME ON THE POLLS!

that girls : ya cuz we didn't put our names in who's the hottest video game character! that site is for nerds!

the guys are silent.


--; well i tryed.

Oh, it's so true! There's no denying it! Anyone who love Final Fantasy enough to poll the hottest character is a nerd! A nerd with some minor issues, I might add. I'm a nerd with some issues...

Red XIII: PET ME!! I'M FUZZY!!!

Barret: *Sitting in a dilapidated red chair in a large dilapidated room, sporting designer shades and a neat-o trench coat* Neo...
Cloud: Oh, hell no*reaches for his sword*.
Barret: You are the one...
Cloud: I've seen this movie already.
Barret: That was but a movie..but this..oh, this is reality. Or is it? What do you see when you wake up in the morning?
Cloud: Usually the ceiling. Sometimes Tifa. Or Aerith. Once in a while Yuffie depending how how much I was drinking. But one time I got so wasted and Red XIII was just-
Barret: But, are they real?
Cloud: That really depends on what I remember of the night before...
Barret: Would you like to find out how real? Take the red pill. Or, if you're going to be a boring bastard, take the blue pill.
Cloud: What happens if you take both?
Barret:...I don't know....look just take the red pill!
Cloud: Fine, whatever. *swallows the pill. looses conciousness* *a few hours later* Wha..where am I? *looks around* Hey, this is my bedroom! What the hell? The blue pill is supposed to-*looks next to him*
Barret: Good morning, big boy *smooch*.
Cloud: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *turns Barret into hamburger*
Boy that was fun and disturbing.

Cid: Sometimes it's harrrrd... to be a womaaann...giving all your love... to just one man....

Sephiroth: I love you, Bob Barker!

Thank you Master! Yours are funny too, as always! I can't imagine Barret and Cloud doing something that silly in mine though.

I've got one;

Red XIII: Yuffie can you get me a kitten collar for my Birthday? I'm a cute little kitten!! Ladies, can I bite your clothes off too?

Yuffie: Sure if you bite my clothes off and pay me to do that so I can buy you a kitty collar!! Or, I'll sell all the materia I stole. I don't need materia! I'll just have you bite all my clothes for free and sell my materia for your cute kitten collar!

Tifa: Red XIII, why don't you use my ribbon instead! It looks so cute on you! And then bite my clothes off.

Vincent: Try using my headband Red! That would look twice as cute!

Cloud: Just use me shirt too like a cat sweater too! I'm having a foursome with the ladies when he rips off their clothes.

Aerith: Don't forget the flower in my hair. Awww how cute!! He looks like a big cute kitty!! And then rip my dress off with your teeth.

Red XIII : I LOVE MY NEW KITTY CLOTHES! SOMEONE WANNA TAKE ME HOME!!!???? I'M A CUTE KITTY!

At Gold Saucer..playing Speed Racer:

Cloud, Aeris, and Yuffie jumps in and off they go.

aeriscloud (as attendant): Place your bets now. The JackPot is on the spot!!

Tifa: So, let's bet who's going to forfeit outta the ride, everyone!!

Barret: 60000 Gill on Yuffie. (smiling to himself) I'm going to be a rich man. Now I can always get that doll house that Marlene wanted

Cait Sith: 80000 Gil on Yuffie. There's no way she'll come back in one piece!! Yay!! I'm going to be mcccccccccRiiiiiiiiiicccchhhhhhh!!

Tifa: 90000 gil on Yuffie. Now Cloud, Aeris, and me can go to that dream vacation we always wanted!! Woohoo!!

Nanaki: Skip me out....I'm broke.

Vincent: All of you fools' money!! I'm on Cloud and Aeris. Then we'll see who's the rich man! Bwahhhhaaaaa.

T/B/C: Whattt!! Big loser! We'll be laughing at you. Bwahhhaaaaa(in unision)

The ride comes back.

Tifa: It's going to be Yuffie!

Barret: It's Yuffie!

Cait Sith: It's Yuffie!

aeriscloud: And the big winner is............
(Tifa, Barret, and Cait Sith grinning with happiness)
VINCENT!! You are the lucky winner of today's "Guess who puke on the Ride" as today, Cloud and Aeris puke on the ride.

Vincent: Well, I won. So, give me all of your money. It's time for my grand dream vacation with Cloud and Aeris. In your face, Tifa. Ha ha ha ha.

Tifa: No fair. Meanie. Just waita minute...

Barret: How could Yuffie not get sick?....

Cait Sith: Yeah, we shoulda won.

Yuffie: Easy. I took motion air sickness pill, the latest by Shinra. Ah, what a fun ride!!

Cloud and Aeris: Urghh! Where's the bathroom? (rushes to the bathroom to throw up)

Vincent: Wait for me. (prances like a school boy) Now, we can go to our dream vacation.

Originally posted by aeriscloud
At Gold Saucer..playing Speed Racer:

Cloud, Aeris, and Yuffie jumps in and off they go.

aeriscloud (as attendant): Place your bets now. The JackPot is on the spot!!

Tifa: So, let's bet who's going to forfeit outta the ride, everyone!!

Barret: 60000 Gill on Yuffie. (smiling to himself) I'm going to be a rich man. Now I can always get that doll house that Marlene wanted

Cait Sith: 80000 Gil on Yuffie. There's no way she'll come back in one piece!! Yay!! I'm going to be mcccccccccRiiiiiiiiiicccchhhhhhh!!

Tifa: 90000 gil on Yuffie. Now Cloud, Aeris, and me can go to that dream vacation we always wanted!! Woohoo!!

Nanaki: Skip me out....I'm broke.

Vincent: All of you fools' money!! I'm on Cloud and Aeris. Then we'll see who's the rich man! Bwahhhhaaaaa.

T/B/C: Whattt!! Big loser! We'll be laughing at you. Bwahhhaaaaa(in unision)

The ride comes back.

Tifa: It's going to be Yuffie!

Barret: It's Yuffie!

Cait Sith: It's Yuffie!

aeriscloud: And the big winner is............
(Tifa, Barret, and Cait Sith grinning with happiness)
VINCENT!! You are the lucky winner of today's "Guess who puke on the Ride" as today, Cloud and Aeris puke on the ride.

Vincent: Well, I won. So, give me all of your money. It's time for my grand dream vacation with Cloud and Aeris. In your face, Tifa. Ha ha ha ha.

Tifa: No fair. Meanie. Just waita minute...

Barret: How could Yuffie not get sick?....

Cait Sith: Yeah, we shoulda won.

Yuffie: Easy. I took motion air sickness pill, the latest by Shinra. Ah, what a fun ride!!

Cloud and Aeris: Urghh! Where's the bathroom? (rushes to the bathroom to throw up)

Vincent: Wait for me. (prances like a school boy) Now, we can go to our dream vacation.

Very creative aeriscloud!

shrek meets ff7:

cloud: Look at me and my bad self! woot woot! *disco dances*
(ok that was from emperors new groove)

vincent: ROOOOAAARRR!
red: wow, thats really scary, but you need a tic tac or something because your breath stinks!

cloud: i'm not a messeger boy...i'm a delivery boy.

barret: NONONO! i'm like an onion!
yuffie: you stink?
barret: yes- no
yuffie: they grow in the dirt?
barret: NO!
yuffie: oooh you mean when you leave them out in the run and they sprout tiny green hairs!
*barret gives up*

caitsith: but i'm a real boy!

How about Red XIII as Puss in Boots from Shrek 2;

Red XIII: Purrrrr Purrrrr Purrrrr
Rufus: Awww look at the cute kitty

Red XIII: Rrrreeeoooooww RRRREEEEOOOOOOWWWW!!*scratch scratch scrath*

Cloud and Tifa as Shrek and Fiona;

Cloud: May I have this dance my dear wife?

Tifa: I'd LOVE to suga'!

red xiii after seeing the movie:

red xIII: I' AM PUSS!....in boots...*grins*

tifa and aeris: AWWWW LOOKAT THE KITTY!! *SQUEAL*

Aerith: Tifa? Why she's the village bicycle- everyone's had a ride!
Tifa: Well, it's better than being the bank, Aerith. Everyone always makes a desposit but comes back to withdraw.
Aerith: Grrr...
Cloud: I'm staying out of this one *thinks: holy crap this is getting hot* *tifa's top lands on his head* *thinks: ahhh.. life is good*
I'm not sure how much that made sense, but...

Sephiroth: Hello, and welcome to tonight's episode of America's Funniest Home Videos! To start off, we have an image of me bitchslapping Bob Fag-, er Saggot.

Guard Scorpion fight
Cloud:Be careful, don't attack when it's tail is up!
Barret:Oh shut up!!Shoots gun
Guard Scorpion: Tail Laser!!*Puffs of smoke come out* Shoot dammit shoot!! *Beam finally comes out but it goes flying in random directions and Scorpion kills itself*
Barret:Told ya
Cloud:FU!

*eveyone after watching the first season of Power Rangers( the one with the T-Rex and all the other junk)*
Could:"I'm Tommy!"
Tifa:"I'm Trinny( the yellow one)"
Aeris:"I call Kimberly!"
Cid:"Billy"
Vincent:"I wanns be,...I know I call Jason."
Barret:" Then I'll be Zack."
Yuufie:" What about me? You guys took all the good ones."
Sephiroth:"I'll take Zordon."
Cloud:"Yuffie can be skull. Theyr're both sinnky and annoying."
Everyone that already has a character:" Yeah! That fits her perfect!"
Cait Sith:"I'll be Alpha."
Aeris:"No. you fit more as Bulk."
Nanaki:"And me?"
Tifa:"You can be my Saber-Toothed Tiger"
Nanaki:"I guess."
Rufus:"I'll be Lord Zed."
Jenova:"And I'll be Rita. Come her Zed."
Rufus:"Someone please save me!"
Seph:"What do we do?"
Cloud:"Just walk away."* AVALANCHE and Seph walk away*
Rufus:*running away from Jenova*" Great help you are!"
Jenova:"Come here darling ."

See what happens whe you get bored. If I let anyone out, Sorry. But can you tell that I was bored.

What are power rangers? Here's one


Tifa&Cloud in bed together

Tifa:Oh yea!

Cloud: ZzZz

Tifa: OH yea

Cloud: ZZzzZZ

Tifa: OH YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cloud: AHHH WHAT THE HELL U DOIN IN MY BED.

Tifa: Umm......looking for my Snickers (Get it? Snickers and Cloud's.....nevermind) Candy Bar?

Cloud: Oh ok. *Goes to sleep*

Tifa: Ohhhhh yeaaaaa

I wonder if Cloud and Tifa has a romance after the game was beaten? But once again this one on top is sick here's some more.

Aeris: I'm bored with flowers maybe i'll run a motorcycle buisness.

Cloud: I'm dying my hair PINK!!!

Barret: I'm taking a long Mako Bath.

Tifa: I need to buy a new pair of boobs these ones are too small.

Red XIII:I'm ashamed of my mother and proud about my lazy father. YOU ROCK!!! HUT HUT!

Cait Sith: I'm nice

Yuffie: Stealing's badddd karma.

Cid: I love you

Vincent: I'm so damn lonely I need a hug!!!

hmm.....

It's so sad that the art of one-liners has been lost. They're so much better than these short stories.

Aeris:What the f@$%
Cid:I love you
Aeris:F@#$ you I'm in a bad mood
Cid:Me too
Aeris:Stop imitating me!
Cid:*farts*ahhh...I just did.

Cloud: "Oh, Lenn! You're the world to me! I- uhhh *reads script* Oh, damn. Wrong set!"
* A temporal Rift occurs*
Cloud: Who are you?
Shuuyin: You, appearantly.
Cloud: But if you're me, then who am I?
Shuuyin: Me, I guess.
Cloud: So I'm you, and you're me, but why aren't we ourselves?
Shuuyin: We are ourselves!
Cloud: We're both at the same time?
Shuuyin: Yes, four personalites now exist in two bodies-- dammit, I'm only as smart as you!
Cloud: And yet there are now two personalities, because they are identical?
Shuuyin: I don't know! Get Steven Hawking in here!
Cloud: He only exists in the real world.
Shuuyin: Dammit!
*Tidus walks in*
Tidus: Hey, guys! Twins? We rock!
Cloud and Shuuyin: Die!!!! *they become one again* YAHH! *butchers Tidus*
Tidus: I am vanquished!
Cloud:..huh.

I don't know how many people are going to get that, but..

Another worthless peice of crap brought to you by my excessive free time!

Ok peoples please only put down posts if you actually think it is somewhat funny. I mean there were plenty of funny ones and then like for the last page or so I have barely even smiled at most let alone laughed. So plz don't put those dumb ones were they take parts from movies or shows and stuff...plz? No offence to those people though.

I was really bored today so I checked out the last page to see how old it was(yep I know I have no life) and I found This (http://forums.ffshrine.org/showthread.php?s=&thread=1274). If it doesnt work just go to the last page for FF7 and click "FF7: Things you didn't see". Its really funny but it takes a REALLY long time to read.

Cid - I shoulda used preperation H

Cloud- I need to stop working out and enjoy desserts more often!

Tifa-I declare my bar "closed" for drinking is bad!

Vincent and Barret together-Guns are evil! EVIL!

Aerith-My hair is too long! I'm gonna get it cut like Yuffie's! I don't need those sissy flowers anyway!

Sephiroth - "Forget godhood. My real dream is to be in a big hair band! *singing* Here I go again on my own, walking down the only road I've ever known..."

Originally posted by Prak
Sephiroth - "Forget godhood. My real dream is to be in a big hair band! *singing* Here I go again on my own, walking down the only road I've ever known..."

Lol! That was good Prak!

Red XIII-I could use a good brushing on my coat. I need a bath!

Yuffie-I'm getting bored with materia! I'll move on to dress making and move to Midgar in Sector 5 Wallmarket! I wanna be a dressmaker!

Cait Sith-My fortune telling sucks! I'm quitting!

Sephiroth-Wow! I never shoulda killed Aerith! I know what I did was terrible and she did the right thing to do her best to stop me from meteor! I kinda thought she was cute too! I could've raped her instead!

rufus and cid: karaoke anyone?

For those who don't know, Shuuyin was a character from FFX-2 with a CG model identical to Cloud in AC. Just with different hair and clothes.

Sephiroth: Oh, god! Is she okay? Oh, jeez- I swear I slipped off that ledge up there! It's not too bad, is it? Oh god! It's sticking through! Oh god! Oh god! I can see blood! *waves arms around* I hate blood! Eww! Eww!

Barret: Hello, chillins. Welcome to Mr. Wallace's 'hood.

Aerith: *shortly before death* Cloud, for a long time, I've always wanted to be penetrated by a man, and I'm getting a feeling like I'll meet him soon. Mmmmm...

Originally posted by Master Nabeshin

Sephiroth: Oh, god! Is she okay? Oh, jeez- I swear I slipped off that ledge up there! It's not too bad, is it? Oh god! It's sticking through! Oh god! Oh god! I can see blood! *waves arms around* I hate blood! Eww! Eww!


I love that one Master Nabeshin. That was too funny.

Sorry about the other one that I put before. I can't think of a good one yet so I will post nothing.

great now i have the karaoke thign going in my head....i can just see it now. the guys of ff7, singing backstreet boys. mahahaha

Originally posted by Master Nabeshin

Sephiroth: Oh, god! Is she okay? Oh, jeez- I swear I slipped off that ledge up there! It's not too bad, is it? Oh god! It's sticking through! Oh god! Oh god! I can see blood! *waves arms around* I hate blood! Eww! Eww!

yeah that was great. :D

Red: Yo yo yo sup dawg.

Cloud:Huh?

Red: Word....

Cloud&Tifa:What?

Red: Radical!!!

Cloud&Tifa&Barret: What the he....

Red: BOOYA

Barret: your one funky animal.

-----------------
I'm Bored
-----------------

Yuffie: Cid.....I never told you this but.......your.....hot?!

Cid: Ahhhh I think your a doll too.

Yuffie: No literally your on fire.

Cid: AAAAAH PUT OUT THIS FU%&ING FLAME PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT!!!

Yuffie: *giggles* told ya

-------------------------------
I just love this forum :)
-------------------------------





:) :) :)

Originally posted by Cloudmeister
Red: Yo yo yo sup dawg.

Cloud:Huh?

Red: Word....

Cloud&Tifa:What?

Red: Radical!!!

Cloud&Tifa&Barret: What the he....

Red: BOOYA

Barret: your one funky animal.



LMAO i find that hilarious ^ ^

Hehe thanks this is what I get for having so much free time.


I wanna hear more with Red XIII cmon more Red XIII




Tifa:*Somersaulting all around the top of highwind.* Ooh i'm so pretty so very very---*Falls overboard* Ay yi yiiiii!!!!!

Cloud:*Jumps overboard to save Tifa an all of a sudden her boobs rip off and smacks Cloud in the face knocking him out.*

Tifa: Cloud I just bought those yester---*Hits the bottom*day......

-----------------------------------
Too much free time people
-----------------------------------

Killermoogle, a soon to be new poster here in the shrine wanted me to post this joke for him.


Cid is sleeping but a wierd moaning wakes him up. All of a sudden he said "I need to buy some cigerettes to calm my nerves." Then the moaning continues. So cid walks outside into the hall, he realized he had no money. "Damn it....hey Cloud and Tifa has gil!" So cid walks into there room where the noize came from. He saw Tifa and Cloud grabbing at each other, totally nude (eeeeeew) clinging onto each other. Cid says "You too horny love birds give me gil for my cigars or i'll blow your mother fu$@ @$$."
They hand over gil and Cid ended up videotaping the whole thing and showed it to everyone on the highwind. Barret said "Aww....I had a good sleep." Cid said "Not me....oh yeah check out this video tape I made with Cloud and Tifa doing it, rough. Cloud and Tifa fall out of their chairs going "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


Remember if you have problems it's not my joke but I did ROFLMAO

honestly i didn't think it was funny. sorry.
before you get mad just remember it was you that asked me to give my opinion Cloudmeister.

I understand.

i did make 1% of the last joke


Here's one


*They all got there math tests back*

Cloud: I'm....class dophus. (25%)

Tifa: I got 40% haha!!!

Aeris oh yea? 41% booya baby it's all about the benjamens.

Tifa: Ooh you bit%h.

Yuffie: I'm a genius! (73%)

Red XII: I'm a nerd. (100%)

Cid:Heh heh (100% but really he got 1%)

Vincent: I saw you cheat Cid. (1% but could've got 99.9%)

Cait Sith: Why am I here? (50%)

Barret: Because your a moron moron. (2%)

Cloudmeister: I'm happy to say all of you are damn idiots and that those tests came from a 1st grade classroom. HA HA HA

------------------------------------------------------
I'm so ashamed....I could think better.
Here's the scores from high to low.

Red XIII:100% but he's too damn smart
Cid: 100% but he's such a cheater
Yuffie: 73% but accidentally stole the wrong answer book.
Cait Sith: 50% but marked all of the answers As.
Aeris: 41% but was staring at Cloud the whole time.
Tifa:40% but was staring at her boobs part time and Cloud the other part
Cloud: 25% and didn't do a damn thing.
Barret: 2% but he was thinking about Vincent too much and how mysterious he is.
Vincent: 1% but you'd think he got higher but he was partly writing in his diary

"Barret is so dreamy" is what he said.
------------------------------------------------------

Here's another i hope is better

Barret: ..................a................b.............. ......c
Red XIII: damn man you can't even do your 1 2 3's
Barret:abc's you moron.
---------------------------------------------------------






Why is my brain not working it's turning into goo!!!!!! and why do i always think it's 2 in the morning when it's only 6 pm?!

Cloud - "What the... I just got a letter from Shinra Inc."

Tifa - "What does it say?"

Cid - "Is it a threat from Rufus?"

Cloud - "No. They want me to be in a hairspray commercial."

Vincent: (steps On Red XIII's tail)
Red: OW YOU BITCH!
Vincent: IM SORRY! must...punish...self! (jumps in a coffin.)

Originally posted by Prak
Cloud - "What the... I just got a letter from Shinra Inc."

Tifa - "What does it say?"

Cid - "Is it a threat from Rufus?"

Cloud - "No. They want me to be in a hairspray commercial."
XD that was good.

Aerith: *standing naked in front of Cloud* Well, Cloud, what do you think?
Tifa: *also standing naked in front of Cloud* Yeah, Cloud, what do you think? Aren't I better than Aerith?
Aerith: Cloud, you know I'm the best!
Cloud: *sitting on his couch, not expecting this* Uhhhh.......*head tilts sideways*
Tifa and Aerith together: No, you can't have us both!
Cloud:*gasps. Blots up from his seat and pushes past Aerith and Tifa* Ooooo! ooooo... *hugs the TV, which is playing an Ad for a motorcycle/hairspray/cellphone combo package* Mmmmmmmm.... *very happy sound*

Vincent:Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore".

Sephiroth: Now, kids, I'm here to tell you a very important message: don't play god.

Cid: And now back to Who Wants To Be A Gillionare?
Before the break we left Cloud Strife on the 1000 Gil question...

Q: What is the name of your final limit break?

A: Omnislash B: Chaos C: Catastrophe D: Cosmo memory

You have no lifelines left.

Cloud: Ummmm, what was the question?
Is the answer Potion? What lifelines have i got?

THREE HOURS LATER

Cloud: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Cid: *bangs head on table and swears*
Vincent: I think i lost my pants.
Red xii: The three stooges live.

Cloud: I feel like i'm laying on a Cloud.

Aeris: Aeris killing my lungs. (Get it. Air is Aeris)

Tifa: Want some Tea fu----c$#% (F word)

Barret: Bare with it Marlene no more cartoons. (Bare---it Barret)

Yuffie: You are defeated....i'm so sorry. (You---Fea Yuffie)

-----------------------
I ran out of ideas.
-------------------------

Vincent: La la la la la, i like doing laundry. *Mixes White and Red clothes including his cape*

*20 minutes later*

Vincent: I feel like a pretty school girl laaaa la laaaa la la. *His cape tuned Pink.*

--------------------
umm.......
--------------------

Aeris: Life is boring......

-----------------------------------------------
My mind turned into goo ahhhhh!!!
-----------------------------------------------


Originally posted by Master Nabeshin
Aerith: *standing naked in front of Cloud* Well, Cloud, what do you think?
Tifa: *also standing naked in front of Cloud* Yeah, Cloud, what do you think? Aren't I better than Aerith?
Aerith: Cloud, you know I'm the best!
Cloud: *sitting on his couch, not expecting this* Uhhhh.......*head tilts sideways*
Tifa and Aerith together: No, you can't have us both!
Cloud:*gasps. Blots up from his seat and pushes past Aerith and Tifa* Ooooo! ooooo... *hugs the TV, which is playing an Ad for a motorcycle/hairspray/cellphone combo package* Mmmmmmmm.... *very happy sound

I like this one LMPAO

Aerith: Tifa let me try on your hair tye!?

Tifa: Okay, let me try on your flower hair accesory!?

Tifa and Aerith together: Sure!

Tifa: It looks cute on me!

Aerith: Your hair tye looks cute on me!


Yuffie: HEY Cid! Lemme try on your goggles!!

Cid: Huh!? What the $u##? Sure, only if you let me try your ninja headband!

Cid and Yuffie together: FINE!

Yuffie: HEY!! These goggles are SUPER COOL on me!!

Cid: Your heandband looks so f**&ing better on me!!

Cloud: Hey Vincent, let me try your headband and cape on!!

Vincent: Eh? Sure.

Cloud: I look sexy in them!!

Vincent: Yes you do! I look sexier showing more of my face!

Cait Sith: Red XIII, could I try your headdress on?

Red XIII: Sure, only if I could try your crown!

Red XIII and Cait Sith together: Let's switch!

Red XIII: I like the crown better on ME!!

Cait Sith: And I like the headdress better on ME!!

Red and Cait togther again: Well trade and never give them BACK!

Sorry if those were alittle boring.... just got real bored.

Originally posted by Tifa Rinoa
Aerith: Tifa let me try on your hair tye!?

Tifa: Okay, let me try on your flower hair accesory!?

Tifa and Aerith together: Sure!

Tifa: It looks cute on me!

Aerith: Your hair tye looks cute on me!


Yuffie: HEY Cid! Lemme try on your goggles!!

Cid: Huh!? What the $u##? Sure, only if you let me try your ninja headband!

Cid and Yuffie together: FINE!

Yuffie: HEY!! These goggles are SUPER COOL on me!!

Cid: Your heandband looks so f**&ing better on me!!

Cloud: Hey Vincent, let me try your headband and cape on!!

Vincent: Eh? Sure.

Cloud: I look sexy in them!!

Vincent: Yes you do! I look sexier showing more of my face!

Cait Sith: Red XIII, could I try your headdress on?

Red XIII: Sure, only if I could try your crown!

Red XIII and Cait Sith together: Let's switch!

Red XIII: I like the crown better on ME!!

Cait Sith: And I like the headdress better on ME!!

Red and Cait togther again: Well trade and never give them BACK!

Sorry if those were alittle boring.... just got real bored.

Are you kidding they're pretty funny! lol I just don't understand how Red XIII has a headdress....what is a headdress?

Originally posted by Cloudmeister


Are you kidding they're pretty funny! lol I just don't understand how Red XIII has a headdress....what is a headdress?

Why Thank You :)! Red XIII's headdress, that's the name of his weapon on his head.

Oh yea i knew that

Barret- I am awesomeo!

Cloud walks up to Vincent, hanging upside down...
Cloud: Hey, Vincent....
Vincent: There is no Vincent- only Zuul.
Cloud: Riiiiight..well, do you know where I can find Vincent?
Vincent:Uuuuhhhhhh... hold on. Vincent, you've got a call on line one.
Cloud: Vincent?
Vincent: *falls to the floor and assumes the fetal posistion* He's not here.
Cloud: Well, where is Vincent?
Vincent: I'm in my dark place...
Cloud: Okay, bring back Zuul, and tell him that there's a pizza boy from hell at the door for him.
Okay, I know that was gay...the next one's even worse.

*Tifa, Aerith, and Yuffie walk into their hotel room..*
Aerith: Hey... I've got a question.
Tifa: Yeah?
Aerith: How come every time we stay at a hotel, the guys get us a nice, spacious room for us...
Tifa: You'd rather sleep in a cramped room?
Aerith: Yet there's only one bed-
Yuffie: A very nice bed, I might add.
Aerith:The pillows are all shaped like hearts, and the lighting is always dimmed...
Tifa: I think it's very cozy. Nice and comfortable.
Aerith: And the shower isn't closed off to the rest of the room.
Tifa: Well, it makes it easier for Yuffie to hide stolen materia from us. And it's not like we have anything to hide..
Aerith: And the the questionable items and lubricants in the drawers.
Yuffie: Good to steal and re-sell.
Aerith: And the fact that there's nothing on TV but, well.. you know...
Tifa: Not like we watch TV.
Aerith: The switch that makes everything vibrate?
Tifa: Good massage.
Aerith: What about the little cameras in the walls?
Tifa: Oh, those are just fire sprinklers!
Aerith: The sign on the wall that declares that clothing is restricted here?
*Yuffie and Tifa are struck silent*
*in the next room over*
Cloud: *in sequened vest* Boy, is it stifling in here, boys! Looks like this hotel's "Love Special" is just another dud.

Geez... Enough with the novels. One-liners are much better. Or at least something with a single punch line. These aren't remotely funny.

The FFVII cast after watching the movie 'The Perfect Score'.

Cloud: Let's pretend to be the cast! I'll be, Matty!
Zack: I'll be Kyle!
Aerith: I call Ana Ross!
Tifa: Call me Francessca Curtis!
Barret: I'll go with Desmonde Rhodes!
Vincent: I guess what's left, is that stoner dude. Roy.

Cid:Wait! I forgot his name, I'll be Kyle's older brother.

Cait Sith and RedXIII:Guys, get a life! That was the lamest movie ever.


Maybee, these are okay. I know alot of people hated that movie though. I'm the only one who really liked it.

red XIII: Hey puppet pal Barret. Do, you, know what time it is?

Barret: Uh I don't know what time is, it?

Red XIII: It's Bonk *Bonks Barret in head* Time.

------------------------------------------------------------
As you can see I got my idea from a cartoon
------------------------------------------------------------

Tifa : I dont kiss clouds ass!

Cloud : Im straight!

Cid: please do not swear, i find it rather offensive, thanks old chap.

Barret: Cloud you are the best leader in the world.

Vincent: *Night fever night feverrrrrrr, you know how to do it*

Yuffie: I found 20 quid on the floor yesterday and i was a good girl and turned it in to lost property.

Cait sith: "�*�* "%^ ( cant thik of anything :/ )

*Scene where Sephiroth stabs Aeris*

Aeris: Ooh Sephy *Moves her body closer to him* Your so fine.

Cloud: What?!

Sephiroth: You too baby *Throws the FAKE sword away and kisses her*

Cloud: NOOOOOOOO

Aeris: Yes Cloud me and Sephiroth are getting married!

Tifa: So does that mean cloud is mine?

Aeris:hmm... *Impales Cloud and Tifa with her staff* yes, in hell!

*Aeris jumps on Sephy*

Aeris: Let's go my evvvvvil finance.




Ok i know Cloud/Aeris fans will not like this joke. Then again both Cloud/Tifa and Cloud/Aeris fans will not like this. Sorry but my mind kinda drifted off and i had nothing left up my sleeve

What has happened to this thread it died. I'll liven it up with another joke from Killermoggle and give your honest answer he doesn't really care he just needs all the criticism he can get from his jokes.


Narrator: In the highwind Cloud and Red were watching cartoons and Barret was about to ask them a question in a cute widdle voice.

Barret: Clwoud....are you horny?

Cloud: No...why did you ask?

*Cloud murmering*: I might be after that one night.

Barret: Rwed XIII are you horny?

Red XIII: *In a slick voice* m...aybe.

*Red XIII's paw touches Cloud's hand Red starts purring and Cloud then turns his head slowly and Red XIII also turns his head. Then Cloud looks at Red XIII's googly eyes and RedXIII licks his lips.

Cloud: Uh Oh.....



That was Killermoggles! /em claps
Here's mine

Cloud: Why is my name Cloud? Shouldn't it be Charlie Brown?

Here's another

Red is standing on his hind legs with a dj hat,

Red: Yo people this is a rap for my hunny bunny Yuffie!!!

Yuffie: Aww.....

Cloudmeister, when threads get as lame as this one has, it's better to let them die. Don't make a mod have to shoot it to put it out of everyone else's misery.

Originally posted by Prak
Cloudmeister, when threads get as lame as this one has, it's better to let them die. Don't make a mod have to shoot it to put it out of everyone else's misery.

Whaaaaat? I think this thread is cool! It's so funny! Stop being too serious buddy. Have fun and let the kid in you flow out! I still think you're cool Prak!

Tifa: I need a shorter skirt!

Cloud: No, you need a longer skirt(Cloud would never say that cause he loves her).

Aerith: DIE YOU STUPID MONSTER!!!! DIE!!!

Barret: I love Shinra! I wanna marry him!

Yuffie: I'm never leaving Wutai again! I'm gonna settle down and have a nice warm hearting job at the weapon store. I quit Materia hunting!

Sephiroth: I don't need to summon meteor! I can forgive everyone for taking the planet back from the ancients! They didn't mean any harm! I love too be your friend Zack and Cloud! Respect my brotha's!

Zack: Aerith's the only girl for me! I'll never find another!

Red XIII: I wanna stay home and be a coward!!

Cait Sith: Screw Gold Saucer! I don't need to gamble with my life!

Vincent: Light is good! Light is my friend!! Darkness BAD!! Darkness my ENEMY!!

Vincent: "Guns don't kill people, people kill people..but I think the gun helps a bit. I mean, you can't just walk up to a person and go 'BANG!' 'AAAGH!' I think you'd have to pretty frail for that to happen. And what about monkeys? I'll bet that if you taught a monkey how to use a gun, it would go around killing people! You know, 'Bang! OOO! Bang! OOO!'. Have a monkey SWAT team! 'Alright! Everyone to the ground! Check him, check him.. you got a bannana?' Monkey customs! 'All right,no drugs.. no weapons..oh! What have we here? See this, he's got a banana! Gimme the banana!' 'No.' Gimme the fuckin' bannana!' 'No, it's my bannana.' 'I've got a gun. Gimme the fuckin' bannana!' So.. the NRA should change their slogan to 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people and so do monkeys [if they've got a gun.]."
Nabeshin: "You suck!"
*Vincent is struck speechless*
Any Eddie Izzard fans out there might like this..

Originally posted by Tifa Rinoa


Red XIII: I wanna stay home and be a coward!!


Vincent: Light is good! Light is my friend!! Darkness BAD!! Darkness my ENEMY!!


ROFL

On Tifa's day:
Tifa: I'm going to get married...(dreamy eyes)....to Cloud. *giggles*

On Aeris's day:
Aeris: Hmm...this boutique will be so great. I wonder if Marlene will be able to catch it. *giggles* Me and Cloud are getting married. YaY!

On Yuffie's day:
Yuffie: Fun at the beach with my best buddy!! YaY!

The Day of the Wedding:

Tifa: What! I'm marrying Barret! This has gotta be a mistake.
Barret: Sorry, Tifa. The man lost and now your my new wife. He he he.

Aeris: What! What happen to Cloud! Vincent! You're the one I'm marrying.....
Vincent: Don't ask. Cloud lost.
Aeris: (sigh)This just too weird.
Vincent: You tell me. I thought he would had settle for you.

Same time of wedding....@ the beach

Yuffie: What! Cloud. Why are you here, I thought you have a wedding to go to?
Cloud (moaning): First Barret, then Vincent and now all my money. Man! I should had never bet trying to defeat Sephiroth again.
Yuffie: YOU LOST!!! OMG!!!! How!!
Cloud: Do I need to explain. His hair got in my way and blinded me. He knock me out cold. (hands clutching his head and shaking) If I won, I get to pick who be my wife. If I lose, one of the guys take them.
Yuffie: (sigh) How sad.

Cloud: All your hairspray are belong to me!

Sephiroth: *walking into a room* All right, now all of you are gonna die!...huh. There's nobody here. hm.. I'm bored now. *stabs self with sword* OW! Is that what I've been doing to people all this time? Wow. I think I'm gonna go home and rethink my life.

Vincent: Don't drop the soap!*winks*

Aerith: *in prison with Tifa**To self* Drop the soap, drop the soap, drop the soap...

Cid: Damn you, Sky Captain!!!

Zack: Okay Cloud. Since I'm gonna die, I want you to live my life for me.
Cloud: Okay..
Zack: First, you need to start by taking my pants!
Cloud:...
Zack: Take them, damn you!
Cloud: Fine, whatever.
Zack: Now, you need my sword. Take that.
Cloud: Alright.
Zack: Now, you're going to be a mercenary. You have two methods of pay: either charge ridiculous amounts of gil, or demand physical services.
Cloud:...right....
Zack: Pay attention! Now, I have a girlfriend in Midgar. Very beautiful. I'm sure you two will go well together. I want to to take care of her. Cherish her and keep her for your own.
Cloud: I'm starting to see the benfits here.
Zack: No sex.
Cloud: I'm sorry?
Zack: No sex, Cloud!
Cloud: *forcing Zacks eyelids shut* Oh, woe is me! My dearest, closest friend and comrade who has been close to me through good times and bad times.. is dead..
Zack: I'm going to take you with me!
Cloud: Is gone forever...before he could make one last request concerning a beautiful woman..
Zack: I'm going to haunt you, Cloud!
Cloud: I can still hear his voice on the wind..I shall honor his wishes and consumate love with his girlfriend for him. *walks away*
Zack: Dammit!

Originally posted by Master Nabeshin


Zack: Okay Cloud. Since I'm gonna die, I want you to live my life for me.
Cloud: Okay..
Zack: First, you need to start by taking my pants!
Cloud:...
Zack: Take them, damn you!
Cloud: Fine, whatever.
Zack: Now, you need my sword. Take that.
Cloud: Alright.
Zack: Now, you're going to be a mercenary. You have two methods of pay: either charge ridiculous amounts of gil, or demand physical services.
Cloud:...right....
Zack: Pay attention! Now, I have a girlfriend in Midgar. Very beautiful. I'm sure you two will go well together. I want to to take care of her. Cherish her and keep her for your own.
Cloud: I'm starting to see the benfits here.
Zack: No sex.
Cloud: I'm sorry?
Zack: No sex, Cloud!
Cloud: *forcing Zacks eyelids shut* Oh, woe is me! My dearest, closest friend and comrade who has been close to me through good times and bad times.. is dead..
Zack: I'm going to take you with me!
Cloud: Is gone forever...before he could make one last request concerning a beautiful woman..
Zack: I'm going to haunt you, Cloud!
Cloud: I can still hear his voice on the wind..I shall honor his wishes and consumate love with his girlfriend for him. *walks away*
Zack: Dammit!

OMG This is heck of funny! lol

Originally posted by Cloudmeister
*Scene where Sephiroth stabs Aeris*

Aeris: Ooh Sephy *Moves her body closer to him* Your so fine.

Cloud: What?!

Sephiroth: You too baby *Throws the FAKE sword away and kisses her*

Cloud: NOOOOOOOO

Aeris: Yes Cloud me and Sephiroth are getting married!

Tifa: So does that mean cloud is mine?

Aeris:hmm... *Impales Cloud and Tifa with her staff* yes, in hell!

*Aeris jumps on Sephy*

Aeris: Let's go my evvvvvil finance.




Ok i know Cloud/Aeris fans will not like this joke. Then again both Cloud/Tifa and Cloud/Aeris fans will not like this. Sorry but my mind kinda drifted off and i had nothing left up my sleeve
That was odd!!

Cloud: *to Aerith* Oh, you got SERVED!

Barret: Eat your cheese sandwich!

Vincent: CUURSE! CURRSE!!! MAKE!!!! CURRRSE!!!!

Rufus: *performing a speech* Now, before I begin tonight, I'd like to discuss with you all the serious subject of schizophrenia. No he doesn't! Shut up, let him talk! Ha ha.. just kidding. No he's not!...uh-oh.

Cloud: I need to shave my head.

Barret:NO PLEASE DON'T!! I won't call you spikey headed ass anymore, PLEASE!!!???

Aerith:I'm going to dye my hair silver! Then I'm going shopping to get an outfit like Sephiroth's!

Aerith:*whisper*this is fun crossdressing has Sephiroth! Tee Hee!*whisper*

Tifa: Yuffie, do you wanna go to bed with me?

Yuffie:Wow would I!

Sorry if these were stupid. Wanted to keep this thread going.

cloud: OMG! I'm driving too fast, I might hit a tree, or maybe a leaf, i better slow down before i hurt something. *slows down and goes at 3mph dodging every leaf he sees* *runs over one*
cloud: Oh im so sorry i hurt you! *picks up leaf and walks to lake, lays it in lake*

HAhahahaa! Pretty good for a new guy.

CLoud, Barret and Cid: (dancing) Hey Macarena!

Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, I gatta good one.

Cloud: (completly helpless and cornered by Sephy)
Sephiroth: Prepare to die Cloud....(a beeping noise is heard coming from his pocket)
Dammit! Now what?! (pulls out car keys from pocket) Aaaaw, my poor
widdle Tomagachi Pet is hungry-wungry. (pushes a few buttons.) There
you go widdle fella, you cute widdle thing you. (puts it back) where was I?

Cloud: Wow Jenova, your looking surprisingly stunning today!!

Jenova: aw, thanks cloud, your such a cutiepie *eye falls out*

Kadaj: *knocking at Cloud's door at 6AM* Hello, I'm from Jenova's Witnesses. At Jenova's Witnesses, we offer truth, experience, and healing. Take this brochure, and please consider-AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!! *is sliced by Cloud*

Yay! Sorry to any Jehova's Witnesses out there, but DON'T KNOCK ON MY DOOR EARLY SATURDAY MORNING!!!!

That was almost hilarious, but you blew it with the whole sliced by cloud thing. :(

HAhahahaa! Pretty good for a new guy.

CLoud, Barret and Cid: (dancing) Hey Macarena!

Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, I gatta good one.

Cloud: (completly helpless and cornered by Sephy)
Sephiroth: Prepare to die Cloud....(a beeping noise is heard coming from his pocket)
Dammit! Now what?! (pulls out car keys from pocket) Aaaaw, my poor
widdle Tomagachi Pet is hungry-wungry. (pushes a few buttons.) There
you go widdle fella, you cute widdle thing you. (puts it back) where was I?
Im a girl. And thanks fot the compliment.....yours was cool! i laughed so much!

All sat around having a picnic,
Barret- last one to call out has to sit on grass!
All except cloud who is sat on floor with headphones on- Turn around, touch da ground bagsy not it!
Everyone-ha ha yo have to sit on floor!
cloud- aaaw no fair!!! id ont want to sit on the grass*sniff* its not fair!!!*sniff*
all- aaw look at him cry!
cloud-i get hayfever*sniff* dont diss*sniff*
cid- yeah and im the easter bunny!
cloud- you guys are so...soo.....*sniff*...cruel!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAA *runs off*

Cid at the End: *Drops Cigarette after seeing Airship fall in Crater* "Noooooo! I'm on fire! Stop, Drop and....
Tifa: It's a frickin cigarette. You're still alive
Cid:......AHHHHH!
Tifa: ....idiot.....

Hello, i am new to ff shrine anyway, i think youll enjoy this

Hello, i am new to ff shrine anyway, i think youll enjoy this

aeris:cl,cloud?are you awake?

cloud:yeah what?!?!{drinks from shasta bottle}

aeris:cl,cloud, im a shemale......

cloud:??????{passes out and explodes for no apparent reason}

Barret:DAAAAMN!!!!{in stereo type black voice}

Tifa: its okay, im one to!!he he he!...

cloud explodes again.

Barret:Fo shizzle my nizzle
Cloud:FF8 was better
Yuffie:Im so damn horny!(maybe she would say that...) =)
Tifa:I'm a pimp an cloud's my bitch!
Red:My milkshake is better than yers.
Cid:Pooping is fun!
Aeris/Aerith:Shut the !$%@ up and gemme a damn beer*passes out and explodes for no reason*
Frylock:Shut up and eat your cheese sandwich!!!! >:O

Barret:Fo shizzle my nizzle
Cloud:FF8 was better
Yuffie:Im so damn horny!(maybe she would say that...) =)
Tifa:I'm a pimp an cloud's my bitch!
Red:My milkshake is better than yers.
Cid:Pooping is fun!
Aeris/Aerith:Shut the !$%@ up and gemme a damn beer*passes out and explodes for no reason*
Frylock:Shut up and eat your cheese sandwich!!!! >:O

Welcome newbie! Yours cracked me up LMAO :laugh: !

Cloud:I wanna buy me a teddy bear!

Tifa:You're too old! But I'll buy you one for Christmas or your next birthday anyway hon! *kisses her spouse on cheeck*. YOU'RE STILL TOO OLD DAMN IT!

Barret: I don't want my gun arm anymore! I'm CUTTING IT OFF!

Aerith: Barret sweetie don't you'll hurt yourself! Go to a doctor and get surgery if you want a fake hand back, and I'll heal you with Great Gospel the second you wake up!

Aerith and Barret come to a french kiss.

Vincent:Cid, will you marry me?

Cid: Fuck I'd love too! Let's get freaky tonight Vincent!

Yuffie: WHY OH WHY DID WE HAVE TO KILL SEPHIROTH!!

*get's down on her bedroom floor stomping and crying like a big baby*

HE WAS SUCH A DREAMOAT!! I wanted to make love to him! Whhaaaahh!

cid: Im too hooked in cigs, i quit!
Cloud:OMG get him an ambulance!
Barret:nee naw nee naw!
cloud:my swords too big i need a smaller one, maybe ill ask sephiroth very nicely if i can have his?

Cloud: Aieee!!!!!!
Aerith: Oh, Cloud! You're such a baby! I told you it takes time to get used to S&M!

I didn't write that. A friend requested it. Really. It wasn't me.

barret:mako energy precious mako energy i love that shinra

Aeris: y the @$^* don't u that damn cigarette out of your mouth
Cid:but its so tasty
Cloud:i cant breathe
Tifa:dont worry i'll do mouth to moputh
Cloud:oh god no HELP!

Aerith: I hate being a girly-girl i'm going tomboy all out. *Cuts her hair to boy length*
Cloud: Well if your going all boy i'm becoming all girl. *Makes his hair long and silky.*
Aerith: o....k a little more than I wanted to see.


Yuffie: mmmm.....mmmm.....
Cid: mmmm.....mmmm.....
Red XIII: mmmm.....mmmm.....
Cloud: mmm baby mmm baby...


(I got a little rusty)

Cloud: Yo quiero Taco Bell..

Tifa:Ba Da Ba Ba Ba! I'm Loving It!

Aerith:At BK you got!

Vincent: Screw you guys, I'm shackin' up with Dante. *leaps onto Devil May Cry bandwagon* Happy trials! *gives finger*

Sephiroth: This "becoming god" thing just isn't all it's cracked up to be... no... I think my true calling is..Chinese Food Delivery.

After watching a 12 hour marathon of crappy teen-idole video's

Tifa:"He's irrisistable up close and personal!"

Cloud:"I'm a genie in a bottle! You gotta rub me the right way!"

Aerith:"Oops! I did it again!"

Sephiroth:"It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you!! And when we are apart I feel it too!! And no matter what I do, I feel the pain!! With or without you!"

Yuffie:"I'm craving for you! I'm missing you like candy!"

Barret & RedXIII:"Shut up you five! Meh, let's just get ear plugs and smoke some cigarette's!

Sephiroth: This "becoming god" thing just isn't all it's cracked up to be... no... I think my true calling is..Chinese Food Delivery.

You ripped me off... :(

I did? What? When? Sorry, must have missed something back somewhere. NO rip-offs intended.

Tifa: C'mon, Cloud! We have to go save the world!
Cloud: Wait, just a few more minutes!!! I'm about to defeat sin! Spira will be saved!

Sora: Have you seen the keyhole?
Sephiroth: WTF?! *vaporizes Sora, Goofy, and Donald*

Cloud: Hey, there's gonna be a special Square VS. Enix episode of MXC! Let's go!
Hey, that would actually be pretty funny...

Cloud: I've run out of hair gel!!!

Cloud: I've run out of hair gel!!!


Hehehe

Yuffie:I love you


cmon we all know Yuffie is well...different.

Hehehe

Yuffie:I love you

cmon we all know Yuffie is well...different.

yuffie: "and I wouldn't dream of stealing your materia."

Cloud: *running around the room screaming* "Doodoocaca doodoocaca

Sephiroth: I lost my super mega ultra super duper hold hair gel and now I look like a nerd *pimples pop up on face* NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Yuffie: Materia....destroy materia *hits Comet materia and blows herself up*

Vincent: It is like the moon and the sun mixed with the atmospheric stuff around the Mercury in my temperature thingamabob. *Everyone stares at him* WHAT!!!

Bugenhagen: I am floating! See. I am floating on top of Mt. Everest! Weeeee...AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! *falls all the way down* *CRAAAACK* "My back"

Red XIII: *cleaning tail* "lick lick lick" *burns tongue* OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Cid: My cigarette is candy

Cait Sith: What am I? Who am I?

Vincent: I've gotten into religion. Check this out. *summons Jesus*
Jesus: I smite thee! *kicks butt*
All:...wow.

Vincent: I've gotten into religion. Check this out. *summons Jesus*
Jesus: I smite thee! *kicks butt*
All:...wow.


You gave me an idea;

Cloud: Yes Jesus loves me! Yes Jesus loves me! Yes Jesus loves me!

Vincent:Kumbiea my lord! Kumbiea! Kumbiea my lord! Kumbiea!

OMG this thread is hilarious
I must find more....

yuffie:materia everywhere its all mine bwahaahahahahahahaahahha so much materia............

yuffie:materia everywhere its all mine bwahaahahahahahahaahahha so much materia............

Hmmm....I could actually see Yuffie saying that if her dark sides came out of her. Maybee if Shinra or Sephiroth do that in words like what happens in alot of stories with villians; villians making the heros turn to villians that way.

*Cloud holding rinoa in his arms*
Cloud : "i will never be able to hear her soft voice again i will never see her sweet smile"
Rinoa : "WHO ARE YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?!"
Cloud : "Why why must this happen!"
(tell me if im not allowed to do this -.-)
*squall walks into the scene and hit cloud in the face)
squall : "asshole"
tifa : "CLOUD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"
Cloud : "uhhhhhhh exit bridge left"
*cloud gets on the ledge and jumps*

ok i know its stupid but i hada post it it was buggin me =P

Hah, that gives me an idea.

Cloud: *waking up in the ocean* Uhhh...where am I? *a blitzball hits him in the face*
Wakka: Heeeey! You okay, man? *throws another blitzball at his head*
Cloud: ...I dunno. How you feelin'? *casts comet on Wakka*
Wakka: Wow, that's a good blitzball move, ya?
Cloud:....No. Nevermind. Is there a town nearby?
Wakka: Yeah, Besaid island isn't very big.
Cloud: Besaid?! If I'm here, then where's Tidus..?
Elsewhere...
Aerith: Aww, you're so cute and stupid! I think I'll name you bitch, because you're my bitch now! *hugs his head*
Tidus: Hey, if you want an autograph..
Barret: Th' foo's here five minutes now, and he thinks he's all that!
Vincent: I say we kill him!
All: Yeah, let's kill him!
Aerith: Wait! Let me finish first!
All: Finish, then we'll kill him!
Aerith: *exceedingly lecherously* He he...
Tidus: *whimper*

ha ha ha

Originally Posted by Master Nabeshin
Vincent: I've gotten into religion. Check this out. *summons Jesus*
Jesus: I smite thee! *kicks butt*
All:...wow.




You gave me an idea;

Cloud: Yes Jesus loves me! Yes Jesus loves me! Yes Jesus loves me!

Vincent:Kumbiea my lord! Kumbiea! Kumbiea my lord! Kumbiea!


lol u hav given me an idea

cloud n every1 else r looking for septhiroth in the north crater....on there way down they see an out line of a man as they get closer it turns out to be sephiroth they r all ready to fight septhiroth...sephiroth replys...i come in peace starts telling cloud and the others about 'how he saw god' placed a flower behind clouds ears...then as there walking off he ses 'o tifa by the way im sorry i cut u...but i realy love u. tifa replys by saying 'oh sephiroth i love u 2 do u wana go behind that corner and get it on'....'sounds good to me!!:D

its a bit poo but just the fort of tifa naked.....ooooooh incase u didnt notice...i love tifa!!

Cloud and Cid are at an AA meeting

Cid: (stands) "My name is Cid Highwind. And I am an alcoholic."
Sephiroth clones in black capes: "Hellooo.....C-Cid..."
Cloud: (stands) "My name is Cloud Strife. And I am a Homosexual."
Cid: "Wrong building, Cloud."

ive only just read it and that one made me laugh

i know i read that one and thought it rocked!

cloud: i like big butts and i can not lie...
aeris: roses really smell like poo poo poo...

i just had to write it:p

Some person: Where did ya get the sword, Cloud
Cloud: Uhhhhhhhh......Internet!
Some person: COOL! Must buy! Kill people! Wreak havoc! Hahahahaha!
Cloud: What an idiot!!

Septhiroth: Uhh, Cloud I have something to tell you...
Cloud: Yeah, what is it?
Septhiroth: I love you.
Awkward silence.
Cloud: Um, well Im in love with Barret.
Barret: WHAT THE $@#&?!!

Cloud: "hey guys, .....I think I just want to go home."

Sephiroth: "This world is just too dark and gloomy. I think I could use a trip to neverland! *flys away*"

Cloud: Say...I think we took a wrong turn... this is a mansion, but it's not ShinRa mansion...and there are a helluva lot of stuffed animals...hey, where's Marlene?
Distant voice: I love ALL the children....
Barret: Oh hell no!

Aerith:Life sucks! My whole life sucks! I think I'll join teams with Sephiroth. I want to be put into darkness for good!

Sephiroth - After cloud kicks his ass with omnislash "can you wait for me to chang my undies"

Barret: "You know what, Cloud? You're one heck of a guy." *hugs*

Sephiroth: "Him and I are gay together." *gesturse his masamune in Cloud's direction, talking to Tifa*

Barret:Oh Rufus Shinra! How I admire you so! I wish I could marry you one day!

Sephiroth: Ouch, my sword cut me. Mommy, get me a bandaid!
Jenova: *Rips off jelly-like skin* Here!
Sephiroth: Wow, it's shaped like a real band-aid (::()::)
Jenova: And I bought you a kitty *kitten is slimy and bloody* =^..^=
Sephiroth: YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!

Tifa: I like it like that! I guess so I guess so! I like it like that!
Cloud:Let's make this night last forever Tifa sweethart! Give daddy some sugar!
Tifa:Give it to me baby!
Cloud: Uh-Huh Uh-Huh!
Tifa:Give it to me baby!
Cloud:Uh-Huh Uh-Huh!
Tifa:Give it to me baby!
Cloud:Uh-Huh! Uh-Huh! And all the girls say I'm pretty fly!
Barret and Tifa:For a white guy!

sephiroth: alright i'll bargain with you aeris lives but barret and tifa die
cloud: no how about i give you yuffie and red 13?
sephiroth: hmmm maybe come back to me on that one
cloud: same time or shall we discuss this over lunch? i've got a busy schedule...
sephiroth: lunch sounds good. hey we could go to that new italian place!!
cloud: yeah luigis or something all right then meet you then.....