well lets see i think i'll do my own scrip wich follows of my character wich i gave to lightning mage. and i have to say his looks good.:D so ill be using wade but in a same but different way(he'll still have dreams.)

FINAL FANTASY XV-THE DREAMS OF FATE.

START-

A STRANGLY SHAPED AIR SHIP FLIES PAST AND QUIKLY ZOOMES TOWARDS THE DECK.A MAN WHO IS CARRYING A 2.5 METER BLADE STANDS STAIRING IN TO THE MOUNTIONS.-

HE GETS INTERUPTED BY A ENGINIER OPENING THE DECK DOORS.-

ENGINIER: er...is it all right if have smoke?.

WADE: ya go on.

ENGINIER: tanks.

THERES A MINUTE OF SILENCE WHILLE THE ENGINIER LIGHTS HIS CIGAR. AND WADE JUST IGNORES THE SMOKE BLOWING IN HIS FACE AND CONTINUES TO LOOK OUT TO THE MOUNTIONS.-

ENGINIER: hey do want to know somit privite?.

WADE: if its something i shouldn't know, i don't care.don't say something which shouldn't be said.

ENGINIER: well your a mouth full.Ok then, you'll find out anyway.

WADE: hmm...why are you here anyway?,shouldn't you be doing somthing?.

THE ENGINIER LOOKS AT HIM WITH A LOOK OF DISSAPOINTMENT.-

ENGINIER: no,i'm on my brake.

WADE: well will you leve?.

ENGINIER:WHAT?

THE ENGINIER LOOKS AT HIM WITH RAGE AND HATE.-

ENGINIER:HEY! i have a right to be here.

WADE: well i came out here to have some peace, and not be pested by you and your STUPID smoking habbits.

ENGINIER:HMM...:whatever:

WADE: just as i thought your just some dumb alcaholic and smoke addict.

ENGINIER: WHAT?. THATS IT!, i've had enough of you. TAKE THIS

THE ENGINIER TAKES OUT A LITTLE 20CM DAGGER AND STRIKES IT TOWARDS WADE.-

ENGINER: AHHHHHHH!!.

WADE: GOD(IN A EMBARISING VOICE)

WADE SWINGS HIS BLADE JUST BERLY MISSING THE ENGINIERS HAND AND HITS THE DAGGER OUT OF HIS HAND.-

WADE: that wont work try harder next time, and try aiming for the legg.

ENGINIER: AHH that could of choped me hand of.

WADE: if i wonted to do that i would of done it from when you walked through that door.

ENGINIER: smart arse( murmmers).

WADE LEVES THE DECK AND HEADS TO THE EXAMINATION HALL.-

WADE THOUGHTS: HM WHICH WAY WAS IT AGAIN?.....

HEARS A VOICE SHOUTING HIS NAME.-

WADE THOUGHTS: HU....

COMMANDER HULDFAST: were a you going Gormite?.

WADE: commander Huldfast sir, i was just heading to the examination hall sir.

COMMANDER HULDFAST: well no need, i wont to see you in my office in ten,got that.

WADE: YES SIR all of it SIR.

COMMANDER HULDFAST: KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN MY DAUGHTERS A SLEEP.

thats all i can do for now and special thanks to lightning mage for the idiea of the character commander huldfast. :)

Was the Engineer incident a dream? I hate to say the Engineer had just about no point in that whatsoever. Are you continuing from your other add-on in the General FF Forum? Or is it a different add-on?
No offense or anything, i'm just speaking from experience. My goal in life is to land a gig at Square Enix as a storyliner. Or possibly an Author, which seems more probable. You set it up Ok and it's cool you're using some of my names.

Remember, practice makes sourkraut.
... I mean perfect. Heh heh heh.;)

no this is the start of the ones i made in general ff. and i will edit the ones that i did in general ff and use them in this.

It's good, but try spelling next time or using punctuation, it gets really hard to follow wen evrything is splt like ths with no punctuation or anything.
But, apart from that, good. Carry on.

ok heres some more and about the spelling im not very good so you can edit if you wont.

-WADE IS WALKING TOWARDS THE COMMANDERS OFFICE AND IS STOPPED BY DOCTER HERLIM-

DOCTOR: WADE!

WADE: YA!

DOCTOR: errm...oh yeah. i wont to see you at the examination in two minutes.

WADE: oh errr, COMMANDER HULDFAST asked to see me,so...

DOCTOR: don't worry, go see the commander first.

-WADE RUNS DOWN HALL SHOUTING BACK AT THE DOCTOR-

WADE: TAR DOC!!

DOCTOR: BUT BE QUICK OK!.oh that boys got a mind of his own.

-WADE STOPS AT THE COMMANDERS OFFICE AND SEES A GAURD STANDING AT DOOR.-

WADE: EHU!(COTHS).

GAURD 20: oh yeah password please?.

WADE: ELLEN.

GAURD 20: password is correct you may enter.

-WADE WALKS THROUGH THE DOOR AND STANDS AND STAIRS AT COMMANDER HULDFAST WHO IS SITTING AT HIS DESK.-

COMMANDER HULDFAST: ahh Gormite, have a seat.

WADE: i prefear to stand SIR.

COMMANDER HULDFAST: ok have it your way.Oh and could you keep your voice down, my daughter is still asleep.

WADE: how is she sir?.

COMMANDER HULDFAST: she's fine thank you. She's still shook up dow(i don't know how to spell it).

WADE: i would think so as well. have we got any more data on the assasin.

COMMANDER HULDFAST: no i'm afraid. oh yeah there was one thing we were able to find out.

WADE: what was it?

COMMANDER HULDFAST: (whispers) we found his birth records and the only thing they showed was the mothers name, it was weird because the record said the mother was Ellen.

WADE: but it couldn't of been, we have data on him showing he was in his twentys', the same age of Ellen and me.

COMMANDER HULDFAST: that is true, you and my daughter are the youngest people in the force.hmm.....(thinking hard). WELL any way you better be of i'll brief Ellen on what we've just gone through.

WADE: ya ok, i'll see you for the mission brief later on sir.

COMMANDER HULDFAST: ok don't be late or you know what happens.

Thats all for now but i'll have some later.

sorry for double posting but it will split it up better.

-WADE WALKS OUT OV THE OFFICE-

WADE: hey number 20.

GAURD 20: ya.

WADE: did you here any of that?.

GAURD 20: every last bit.

-WADE GRAPS GAURD 20 BY THE NECK AND PUSHES HIM AGAINST THE WALL-

WADE: (quitly) WELL YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT OR....

DOCTOR: BOY PUT THAT GAURD DOWN.

WADE: w..what?.

DOCTOR: I said put him down.

WADE: sorry man.

GAURD 20: HMM... just don't let it happen again.

-GAURD 20 FIXS HIM SELF UP-

DOCTOR: Wade are we done here?.

WADE: ya all done.

DOCTOR: thank you. know if you care to join the rest of your group.

-THE DOCTOR AND WADE WALK DOWN CORIDOOR A1( THIS WILL COME CLEAR LATER ON)

- CUT SCEENE-

DOCTOR: i heard from a couple of soldiers that you are the one to pass this examination.

WADE: propably, the only monsters i've came incontact with are the ones in the simmalations.

DOCTOR: you are i have to say one of the most incredable soldiers i've come across.

WADE: tar doc, in battle i do get to fight against monsters but non of them are strong enough to touch me.

-WADE AND THE DOCTOR ARE JUST ABOUT TO WALK IN TO THE EXAMINATION HALL

-WHEN WADE SPOTS A HUDDED MAN REAPEATING THE SAME
WORDS-

??????: stop, stop, stop.

WADE THOUGHTS: HU?. who's he.

DOCTOR: wade this way please.

-WADE AND DOCTOR ARE IN THE EXAMINATION HALL ALONG WITH WADES GROUP-

WADE: YO number 6 have you been yet?.

SOLDIER 6: ya it was my turn 15 minutes ago, where all waiting for you.

??????: number 7 please step in to the pod, and have both hands to the side of your body.

DOCTOR: doctor do think we should activate the sleep gas to keep his hart rate down?.

??????: yes, computer activate the c40 huy sleep gas.

COMPUTER: ALL REQUESTS ACTIVATED. TIME FOR GAS RELEASE 14 SECONDS. POD GAS SEQUENCE IS ACTIVATED. TIME 10 SECONDS.

WADE: yo new doc is this safe?, i've only hade c39 huy gas before an..an....and i...was.... .

-WADE FALLS A SLEEP THANKS TO THE GAS-

WADE: HELLO, HELLLO!.

COMPUTER: POD SEQUENCE FINISHED. STAND CLEAR OF POD EXIT.

WADE: DOC, DOC...( THINKING). GEEZ MY EYES I CAN'T SEE A THING.

-WADE TRYS TO WALK OVER TO THE ANILIZE STATION WERE THE DOCTOR AND THE NEW DOCTOR WERE STANDING-

WADE: HEY DOCS' YOU THERE.

-WADE LOOKS OVER THE ANILIZE STATION AND SEES THE DOCTOR WITH HIS HEAD CHOPED OFF.-

-HE SLOWLY TURNS HIS HEAD AND SEES ALL OF THE OTHER SOLDIERS HAVE SUFFERED THE SAME FATE-

WADE THOUGHTS: were's that new doc gone?.

-CUT SCEENE-

SOLDIER 10: YO WADE YOU IN THERE?.

WADE: wh..what.

DOCTOR: you dozzed of a bit more than you should of. i think it was the gas.

-WADE JUST RAISES HIS HEAD AND STAIRS AT THE NEW DOCTOR-

thats it realy for know and this is a bit i used in general ff but with a new bit at the start.

That was a good peice there man.
Have you seen part 2-B of mine yet? You should, it's awsome.

ya i have and your rite it is awsome. nice work man

ok this is part A4. this is were every thing starts to build up. and before i start wades group is group B soldiers 6-12. wade=7 but not including 11(not in same group).

-WADE SLOWLY COMES MORE CONSIOUS-

WADE: OWW...my head hurts.

SOLDIERS 6-12(not wade): WADE! WADE!.

SOLDIER 9: you ok dude?.

SOLDIER 10: hey doctor what was in that gas?.

WADE: i'm ok i guess.

??????: the gas contained rention blood(a new monster) presherd in to sleep gas.

DOCTOR: WHAT?. my student could of been out for weeks.

SOLDIER 6: HEY! what you trying to do,hey?.

??????: nothing. ok, i've seen him in battle and just thought with the rention blood he could gain more aggilty whille he's fighting.

DOCTOR: well it should of been confirmed with the council.

WADE: HEY! HEY! HEY!, hang on is there any thing wrong with me. did i pass or what?.

??????: yes theres nothing which has came in conntact. your all clear.

ALL SOLDIERS(including wade): YESS!

SOLDIER 12: NICE ONE WADE.

SOLDIER 6: yo i new you could do it.

WADE: HA! another one passed.

DOCTER: yes well done. but the drug test is still to come.

WADE: hey, were that other doc go?.

SOLDIER 12: he just left then he had something in his hand.

SOLDIER 10: it looked like a disc.

-WADE SENCES THAT SOMETHING ISN'T RITE AND STANDS STRAIGHT BACK UP FULL OF ENERGY-.

WADE: doc i'm sorry i'll have to pass on the drug test thing.

DOCTER: what?.ok then, but be here tommorow at mid day.

-WADE WALKS OUT SLOWLY TOWARDS THE CORRIDOOR-.

WADE THOUGHTS: unluky for you. i wont be here.

-AS HE GETS OUT OF THE EXAMINATION HALL HE SEES THE NEW DOCTER AND RUNS.-

-AS HE GETS ROUND THE CORNER HE'S GONE.-

WADE: WHA..WERE..WERE DID HE GO?.

its a bit shorter then the rest but it will build up tention. but i think lightning mage knows what happens next.

Well, I don't quite know where you're going with this.
I'm a little confused. Too many things are coming out at once. I don't get how Wade is a Doctors student or about how one guy is ????. You'll have to explain it to me sometime.

But don't get me wrong. It's a cool piece.:cool:

ok then its like this.

wade= soldier number 7/ student.

docter herlim= doctor/ teacher. he is trained as a docter so there for he is qualified as a docter.

??????= this is a secret character. he is the assasin/ellens son.
it will become all clear sooner all later. there is more to this character which you will find out.:)

Seriously, I think you need to run it through a spell and grammar check before you post it.

It's harder to read with the errors and it makes your work infinitely more credible if it's grammatically correct. Plus if you bung it into Word, Bill Gates will do the checks for you.

as i said before i'm not good at spelling and grammar so you can edit for me and theres nothing wrong with it.
i can read it perfectly and an other thing if it was all cramped up which it isn't i would be able to read it anyway maybe its just people find it hard reading line after line.:whatever:

ok heres some more not long i hope.

-WADE FORGETS ABOUT THE NEW DOCTER AND HEADS TOWARDS HIS ROOM.-

WADE: god, i mise as well have a rest before i go.

-WADE RESTS HIS EYES, BUT RESTS FOR TO LONG AND FALLS A SLEEP.-

(WADE DREAMING)

WADE: hey this happend a year ago.

??????: look closlie wade.

WADE: AT WHAT!?.

??????: calmn down wade.

WADE: AHH! this is the battle exam i took to get in squad B.

??????: yes, but look at the monsters you are fighting against. Notice anything formilier wade?.

WADE: no....HEY YA! there that rention he's running towards me.

??????: yes wade, very good but keep looking. every thing will come clear soon wade.

-WADE HAS A CLOSE EYE ON THE RENTION HE MENTIONED BEFORE AND SPOTS SOMETHING VITAL.-

WADE: hey ya he just scrached me.

??????: know do you understand?.

WADE: THE DISK.

??????: YES!!.

WADE: THERE WAS CELL DATA IN THAT DISC!!.

??????: HAA HAA HAAAA!!.

-WADE WAKES UP WITH FRIGHT.-

WADE: AHH. (releaved) what was that all about...THE DISC.
the man in my dream was that docter i saw.

SOLDIER 6: YO wade its time for the mission brief.

WADE: WHAT! oh shit ya i forgot.

-WADE FOLLOWS SOLDIER 6 DOWN THE HALL BUT WADE DESIDES TO TAKE THE NEXT CORNER AND LEAVE NUMBER 6.-


WADE: good he didn't see me.

-WADE HEADS DOWN THE MANE CORRIDOOR AND COMES TO A CHOICE.-

(here you can choose from route A1 or A2.)

-AFTER HE HAD CHOSEN, HE RAN AS QUICK AS HE COULD DOWN THE CORRIDOOR, TRYING NOT TO GET SPOTTED.-

WADE: ARR CRAP.

-WADE COMES TO A STOP WHEN HE NOTICES TO GUARDS JUST AROUND THE CORNER.-

WADE: (WHISTLES).

GUARD 3: HEY I HEARD SOMETHIN.

GUARD 7: what i didn't hear any thing.

GUARD 3: no joke i deffintlie heard somethin.

WADE: (WHISTLE LOUDER).

GUARD 7: SHH. i heard it, don't move.

GUARD 3: YOU COME OUT KNOW!.

WADE: ........

GUARD 3: gee, god you had us sceard stiff then.

WADE: ........

GUARD 7: hey wade are you ok?.

GUARD 3: psst. he looks pissed or unless he's sleep walking.

GUARD 3: come on wade you've had your fun know go to the mission brief.

GUARD 7: I don't think he can hear us.

WADE: move.

GUARD 7: what did you just say?.

WADE: move!.

GUARD 3: come on wade stop playin around.

WADE: MOVE!!.

GUARD 7: i don't think he's playing, he looks like he means it.

GUARD 3: oh come on wade.

-GUARD 3 WALKS OVER TO WADE AND BUT HIS HAND ON WADES SHOLDER TO GUIDE HIM.-

??????: WADE!!!!KNOW!!!.(BIG FLASH)

-WADE DRAWS HIS BLADE AND SLICES GUARD 3S' HAND OFF.-

GUARD 3: ARRRRRRR!!! BASTARD!!.

WADE: i told you to move.

GUARD 7: (sceard) w..w..w..what did you do that for?.

WADE: DO YOU WANT TO BE NEXT!?.

GUARD 7: n..n..nn..n..no.(very confused and sceard).

WADE: well tough look.

FIRS BATTLE IN GAME.

GUARD 7: HP= 890. MP=34 WEAKNESS= BREAK ATTACKS AND THUNDER.


WADE: HP= 666 MP= 23. WEAKNESS= ELEMENTS.

thats it for know *few finnaly* this took me ages to write
:)

I'll be honest with you, but not mean in any way.
Your writing style needs a great deal of work.

Please do not ignore this because it is long. You really should read it, it will help.

First and foremost, your spelling is abominable. And I do not mean in a case of a few mistakes here and there. I mean a few mistakes here, and there, and there, and there as well. The easiest way to solve this problem is to do something quite simple -

Read.

And I do not mean read on the internet, I mean actually pick up a few books, and read, and learn your own individual writing style. There are countless books you can read that will be relevant to the sort of work that you're interested in - Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials Trilogy (Northern Lights, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass), The Harry Potter books (Though they lack the finesse and character development of Pullman), Snowcrash by Neal Stephenson.

For your actual literary benefit, I'd suggest reading Animal Farm and 1984 by George Orwell - Orwell knew how to give his books length and a deep plot without making them unneccessarily hard to read (though Goldstein's book really does tax you :p). Possibly then get into some more fantasyish books, such as the Earthsea Quintent by Ursula Le Guin - however, if you're looking for hints on how to make a flowing and interesting plot, do NOT read The Lord of the Rings. The Fellowship of the Ring is the most extraeneous and painful book I have ever had the displeasure of reading - observe as I am flamed by people who somehow stomached the book while still in the womb, and yet I, at the age of 17, only just struggled through to the end.

My point is, your current problem is not wholly based upon your spelling and grammar. While that makes it a chore to read and instantly seem a great deal more ridiculous than it actually is.

However, this does not mean that the plot is any more plausible nor any greater once it is read. In fact, reading it leads to the next problem -

You appear to have a horrible problem with dialects.

Wade siwtches between a country-bumpkin british accent to a chizzled american "YEAH MAN!" at random. This means that one cannot truly take him seriously, when he randomly changes from saying "TAR" (by the way, it's Ta.) from his random americanisms.


SOLDIER 12: NICE ONE WADE.

SOLDIER 6: yo i new you could do it.

Are you saying that all of these people are having varied dialects, one from lancashire, one from the bronx? I'm wondering.

However, you may also benefit from watching a few films - my suggestion is definitely to pick up the Shawshank Redemption, Silent Running, and Fight Club for some dialectic help.

Your main problem may also be to do with what you think you are writing. Do not write as if you are writing boxes that appear on a screen, write as if you are writing a conversation between two people. People do not say "ya." People don't say cliched things such as "unluky for you. i wont be here." People wouldn't say that. I've never met anybody who says "ya" apart from Germans. Think realistically, and if you're trying to be abstract (IE: When you have the mystical secret hooded man speaking), don't. Here, you're not thinking realistically OR in an abstract manner, you're just thinking "what would sound cool in a film," without actually having seen that many films to base that off of.

Also...

as i said before i'm not good at spelling and grammar so you can edit for me and theres nothing wrong with it.
You edit your own work. That's the only way you become better. Unless you end up doing journalism, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT let other people actually edit your work. Get suggestions, yes, but never let anyone else literally change things, even if it's spelling and grammar. Reading over your stuff can let you see holes in the dialogue and errors you've made in the plot, or just a better way to word something.

You must learn to write cogently before it gets to a point when you need to - as in, if you write like this at GCSE level, you will be laughed at, as at AS you will be required to write complex arguments, and if you're not able to put forward those arguments in a readable manner, you will not gain any marks. And this doesn't just count for English, this counts for everything essay-based - that's philosophy, psychology, sociology, economics, and politics. If you write like this in two years time, you are going to have major problems.

Especially if you are considering applying for such a job as "script writer" for Square Enix, which, might I add, is most likely going to be a job that requires a substantial amount of prior effort to gaining, let alone a fantastic writing style and a CV that packs a punch. When I say prior effort, I mean you will have to have written a lot of very, very good stuff, and possibly learned japanese - I'm not 100% sure which development team handles the stories for the FF's these days, but the last time I checked, it was the japanese side - though there is Square Hawaii (if that still exists...or was that Sony Hawaii? I don't know.). Either way, at present you are looking at a lot of hard work, to reach a job that will initially, and for a long time, be hideously unrewarding.

There is little money out there for writers unless they are literally the badger's nadgers. If you're as focused as you claim you are, sit down and read as much as you possibly can. If you're not interested in reading, get interested, because it's the only way you're going to develop your style - at the moment, you have no concept of what makes the cogent story behind any game, or film, or book. You have written the equivalent of...hrm. 10 minutes' gameplay, if I'm correct, probably less.

I sympathise, because I had that problem when I first started writing :p You develop ways of deepening your style after a while.

A good idea would be to also break away from the script format. While I imagine an actual game will have a script, it will most likely also have the story written in prose, or at least, some sort of brief coverage in story form. That, and prose allows you to develop your imagery a lot more than script does. Script lets you get off with being undescriptive and boring with your storyline, and lulls you into the false security that you're actually writing a deep piece - you leave your reader's imagination to do the work that your writing should be doing, and that's lazy.

What I'm saying is that if you want to make a realistic attempt at a job that you, and every other 13 year old FF fan wants, you're going to need to make the effort to learn a style and refine your art.

And yes, when I was 13, I had much the same dream as you did, but...er...a slightly more honed art, to be utterly egoistical and self gratifying. But eventually you may find that you want to write other things, and if you've already covered the basic ground of getting a good style, and improving your grammar and spelling, then you will realise that the reward for reading and refining your writing is much greater than helping you achieve writing the script for a game you used to play.

Phew, that was verbose.

ok

1: hate books
2: hate school
3:will pass gcse what ever you say.
4:i can read and write
5:got a level 6.5 in writing this christmas
6:level 5.8 in reading
7:and don't care if i get laughed at, i will hurt them.
8:dream will come true.
9:i have read it through.
10: nothing wrong, i can understand it perfectly.

AND IF THERE WAS A SPELL CHECK ON THIS SITE IT WOULD BE EASY. THATS WHY WE HAVE PCS' MY FRIEND.

and i whant my characters to have a different personality so they can fit in around different people and places.

if you read them like it sounds you might understand better. read it like you mean it, like you are in a play.

I've acted, and I read your script as I would any script.



1: hate books
Why? Is it some sort of nihilism? Do you have no respect for other writers? Do you consider other writers inferior to you? Or are you some sort of pretentious anarchist?


2: hate school
It's a means to an end. Use it, don't enjoy it.


3:will pass gcse what ever you say.
Remember kids, these days an E is a pass!


4:i can read and write
...to a level.


5:got a level 6.5 in writing this christmas
In what? Keystage tests? What test? Tell me.


6:level 5.8 in reading
""


7:and don't care if i get laughed at, i will hurt them.
You can't knife your problems away, and violence will not prove you smart.


8:dream will come true.
Dreams and reality are two different things, and the past cannot be changed. Read (hah!) The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald to learn about that.


9:i have read it through.
And so have I.


10: nothing wrong, i can understand it perfectly.
That's because your brain is used to how you spell. That's it.

So, you're posting your work for what purpose exactly? You give the impression you don't care that we can't read it, you can read it yourself so all's good.

You've just been given a tonne of good advice. I'm sure it'll be of great use to you to take it on board.

Is an E grade GCSE of any use? o_O

after battle.

wade: "That will teach you".

??????: "VERY GOOD WADE".

wade: "ok, i did what you wanted. What know?".

-VOICE DISSAPEARS.-

wade: "HEY YOU STILL THERE!".

wade thoughts: oh shit what know?.

-NOISES OF A CROWD OF SOLDIERS STARTLE WADE-

wade: "hu shit. Know how am i gona get out of this pile of crap".

soldier 16:"whats happend here"

-WADE QUIKLY THROWS BLADE AROUND CORNER.-

wade: " errr... i came around the corner and found them like this."

soldier 16: " well just don't stand there, get docter herlim."

soldier 6: " ge wiz found ya. commander huldfast is looking for you, he wants you to talk to the squad assighned to help you in the mission."

wade thoughts: oh crap know what?. i whont be able to get of this damn air craft.

soldier 6: "did you hear that wade?."

wade: " w..what?. oh ya, i'll be down in second."



-SOLDIERS LEVE AND WADE TAKES THE ITEMS FOUND ON THE GAURDS HE KILLED.-

ITEMS= potion x2 ether x3 holy water.




wade: " need to wash me blade".

-WADE WALKS IN TO THE TOILET JUST OUT SIDE THE MISSION BRIEFING.-


-YOU SEE A CLIP SHOWING WADE COME OUT THE CUBICLE AND STANDS NEXT TO THE SINK WASHING HIS BLADE AND LOOKS AT HIM SELF IN THE MIRROR AND WALKS OUT.-

its only little so i will write some later

I am sorry, ff_MASTER, but you should at least try to put your work into a proper form before posting it. Nobody is going to read it otherwise, and if they do, the only comment that's likely to be made is: "I had to read every lone twice, next time can you at least try not to confuse such simple words as "now" and "know"?"

ok here it goes.

wade:"i wonder what squad they asighned this time"

-WADE WALKS INTO THE MISSION BREIF HALL-

commander huldfast: "ahh, wade there you are. i thought you were trying to get away from us."

wade thoughts: well ur a smart one. thats exactly what i was doing.

commander huldfast:" wade the squad which you and your squad will be asighned with is squad D."

wade thoughts: oh not again, danys in this squad he is a nutter. avery time he is asighned to me he screws up the mission.

commander huldfast: "wade gormite from squad B will be your sargent for this mission. this is an important one for both squads and i hope you will be a good infulance to each other."

wade: " squad D, are mission is to protect and secure the towns people of ACER(aker) VILLAGE. are goal kill or take prissoner of any one who is a threat to this miss...."

dany: " WADE BUDDY WE GET THE PICTURE JUST GET TO THE BASICS."

wade thoughts: god, this is not my day.

wade: "ok. we have two objectives, one, don't scear the towns people. two, find any evidence of any kind or suspect somthing suspicious come tell me. this is my home town so i whant you on your assalute best."

commander huldfast: " ok, we move in at 1600 hours."

wade: " so that gives us fifteen minutes for landing and to sort out eqipment and items."

commander huldfast: "briefing is now over. meet at the cargo bay for deployment in 14 minutes."

-WADE WALKS DOWN THE HALL WITH DANY TO THE DORMS TO GET THERE WEAPONS AND CHANGE IN TO BATTLE SUITS.-

wade: hmm this is the longest he has been quiet for all day.

wade: "something on your mind?."

dany: " HU..oh, yeah sorry. my grandad, he died her thirty years ago."

wade: " how?."

dany: " my dad told me that he was asighned to squad A but he was treated like a pile of..well,you know."

wade: "hmm."

dany: "well what does it feel like to be going to ya home town?."

wade: " to be honest i don't know."

dany: " why?."

wade: " i don't know anything about it. the only thing i remember is that i was born there."

dany: " well what about your folks?."

wade: " my parents, they were killed,thats what i was told. they were killed during the sawern war between ACER VILLAGE and WERKIN VILLAGE. a bomb hit the village."

dany: "wow and i thought i had it rough."

wade thoughts: 8 minutes untill we reach ACER VILLAGE, my home town.

-CUT SCENE.-

-WADE AND DANY ARE IN THE CARGO BAY WAITING TO DEPLOY.-

-A CLIP SHOWS THE AIR CRAFT FLYING OVER THE VILLAGE THEN IN A VIEW OF WADES VISSION,SHOWS HIM LOOKING DOWN IN TO STREETS.-

dany: " WELL HERE WE GO WADE. HOPE YOU LIKE HIEGHTS."

wade thoughts: finaly at last.

well thats it for now.