and then it was a dream
eyes unopened
visons full of nuance
the way only the blind can see
each caress it claims salvation
contentment only turn your head away
only let me save your soul
yet the shadows still alluring
imply penumbra yet belongs
This I can promise:
You will never forget the past.

I think it goes without saying that it is a great poem, and I'm rather impressed I was able to get the right meaning out of it :P

haha, yeah, you're probably one of the only people who knows me well enough to do something like that.

Don't worry though, I'm more then over this. XD

Originally posted by Ndi
haha, yeah, you're probably one of the only people who knows me well enough to do something like that.


I don't know you very well. " :( "



...but I learned a new word!

Originally posted by rezo
I don't know you very well. " :( "

You don't know me that well I suppose, but you've got a pretty decent understanding of me. I still remember when you listened to me during a few of my drunken rants back a year or two ago. ;)

Out of curiousity, what word did you learn?

"penumbra".

I can't really pull any meaning out of it myself. I honestly tend to dislike things that are abstract to the point where they can only be understood by their author or people who know them really well, but I'd probably like it if I did get it.

I think abstraction is definitely good, but it should only be taken to the point where there is still something to the piece that makes sense to everyone. The way it is now, it could just as easily mean nothing as something. I know it does mean something, but if I didn't know you personally, I'd have no way of knowing that.=\

I don't know if it's too abstract. I was assuming it was referencing a particular event though, but that's not a reason it can't stand on it's own.

From what I read, it seems to be about... finding clarity from thought and companionship...to overcome a past trouble which will stay with someone forever, and even though it may seem like the best way to do that is to remove yourself from that trouble completely, the remnants of it help define who you are now and should always be with you. The speaker seems to be guiding someone through all of this. Anyways, that's what I thought it was going for. Let me know if I was close at all or completely missed it. Interpreting meaning is a fun game, I think.

I'm not really a good judge of poetry though;that may seem strange since it's pretty much all I write, but my poems are just little stories in verse.

Originally posted by rezo
I don't know if it's too abstract. I was assuming it was referencing a particular event though, but that's not a reason it can't stand on it's own.

From what I read, it seems to be about... finding clarity from thought and companionship...to overcome a past trouble which will stay with someone forever, and even though it may seem like the best way to do that is to remove yourself from that trouble completely, the remnants of it help define who you are now and should always be with you. The speaker seems to be guiding someone through all of this. Anyways, that's what I thought it was going for. Let me know if I was close at all or completely missed it. Interpreting meaning is a fun game, I think.

I'm not really a good judge of poetry though;that may seem strange since it's pretty much all I write, but my poems are just little stories in verse.

Yeah, you pretty much nailed it.

I told you you understand me pretty well. Or at least people in general. ;)

I liked it alot. All the poems I have read so far have been really great. You guys are really good. ^_^

Originally posted by TK
I can't really pull any meaning out of it myself. I honestly tend to dislike things that are abstract to the point where they can only be understood by their author or people who know them really well, but I'd probably like it if I did get it.

I suppose it's not as fun for the reader that way, but I'm completely in love with writing that way. It's so fun and so challenging to find ways to manipulate the words so as to conceal the true meaning behind what you're writing. This is a bit silly, but I've had a few livejournal entries where I was a bit proud of how much I really revealed when no one would be able to figure it out.

I suppose I could try my hand at some more straightfoward poetry. It's tough- I don't have a problem doing it with prose, but poetry is so blatantly intimate. I'm not an especially open person, and it's hard to do something too revealing. Maybe I'll try some Ben Folds esque stuff, with characters and plots. XD

Well, like I said, to some degree I think it's cool. I often do the same thing. These days, most of the song lyrics I come up with can only be fully understood by me, as well, and actually I've done the same thing with some of my Livejournal entries.

I just think it's best if there is sort of a "skeleton" that makes sense, and the cryptic stuff is kind of like... wrapped around it? That's a really stupid analogy, but hopefully you sort of get what I mean. I just feel like there should be a clear place to start from, I guess.

You want there to be a definite meaning that you intend for the reader to derive from the poem solely from what is written. It doesn't really matter how abstract it is or not... the abstraction should just have a purpose. Personal connections to the meaning you've put into the poem, or a connection between something about your character or personality that only you or people you know will get is fine of course, but if people you don't know are going to be reading it, don't make those things the only things people can get. It doesn't seem like you did that in this case anyways, so don't worry about it. I was just trying to elaborate on TKs analogy, assuming I understood it.