ice!~neko
10-20-2003, 05:52 PM
I wrote this a few minutes ago and thought it was pretty good. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Never Apart

All I want to do is feel close to you,
Be in your arms just one more time, never be apart�

I move closer, bringing my body against yours,
Our hands touch, interlocking like two snakes
Caught together.
I never want to leave you,
You mean too much to let go,
Nothing else matters when you�re with me.
My thoughts are deep,
And twisted,
Like vines wrapping around a single rose.
Emotions run away,
I can�t keep up.
My lips press against yours
And trace down your neck
To the top of your back.
So soft your skin
I caress.
The warmth of your kiss,
The sound of your breath,
Never be apart.

Loki
10-20-2003, 06:50 PM
Lots of lovey words put together in no particular order. Talking about love doesn't make a good poem.

Squall_90182
10-20-2003, 07:58 PM
Awww that's cute. Poetry always get's to me I don't know how but it does and I'm glad it does. It's really a beatuiful thing. So how long did it take you to wrie it? It's really good. I love it.

Drea
10-23-2003, 06:32 AM
So nice you wrote a poem about me! I'm touched! XD :eye: Just kidden!!!

But no really... that was a really moving poem. I liked it a lot. It was really simple, and that's what made the poem stick.

Glad to see ya posten again. ^__^;;